Last night’s season three premier of GLEE ushered us into senior year at McKinley High, which promises to be full of campy fun, bad lip-synching, and little moments that seriously need a reality check. Here’s this weeks re-cap:
| GLEE | REALITY | |
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AV Club geek with a microphone, Jacob Ben Israel, hammers New Directions members for interviews, reminding us where we left off at the end of season two and annoying the shit out of us at the same time. Convenient. |
First thing’s first, no Jew is this Jewish. (C’mon GLEE, inclusion for the sake of a punch line isn’t exactly progressive.) Moving on, after calling Finn a mediocre quarterback, this Harvey Levin wannabe would get knocked out cold. |
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Schuster creates the Purple Piano Project as a metaphor for the club by buying and painting out-of-tune pianos. Not to sound like a total dick, he adds that despite their lack of functionality they can still make beautiful music. |
I gotta hand it to Schuster, he got that metaphor almost right — but if their first number, “We Got the Beat,” is setting the tone for the season, I’d say the club can still make barely listenable music. |
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In the midst of Sue’s campaign for a West Ohio congressional seat, she decides to take a firm stance against what people hate most: arts programs in schools. |
The only high school extra-curricular that people seem to think is more of a joke than arts is cheerleading. She’ll win the seat when she drops those pom poms for good. |
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Schuester launches a counter attack by “glitter bombing” cheer tryouts. This show of bravado turns out to be a turn on for new girlfriend, Miss Pillsbury. |
Any man who would rely on chucking sparkly shit at his opponent to win a fight wouldn’t have a new girlfriend, if ya know what I mean. |
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Kurt and Rachel are overwhelmed at their meet and greet for the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts when they’re confronted by a room full of highly talented look-alikes and the notion that they aren’t special. |
Those two would have realized they didn’t stand a chance months ago, when they were surpassed by eleven other Glee Clubs with more skilled singers. Chasing their dreams would land the dynamic duo at a State college, not a conservatory. |
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At the prompting of Sue Sylvester, Santana lights a purple piano on fire during Blaine’s lackluster rendition of “It’s Not Unusual.” As a consequence, Schuster kicks her out of the Glee Club. |
Having your equipment lit on fire is a mild punishment for fucking with Tom Jones like that. Then again, “no more karaoke till you straighten up, missy” is a mild punishment for arson. |
As Santana sulked off, New Directions sang the Hairspray classic, “You Can’t Stop the Beat.” The episode ended abruptly when the song did, leaving me genuinely wanting more — although I’m not sure if it was in the good way. Only time will tell how this season shapes up.
