GLEE Reality Recap: New York – SEASON FINALE

	GLEE	REALITY
	As Rachel’s first order of official New York business, she buys the club a set of tickets to Cats from a street merchant.  She very nonchalantly (really, too nonchalantly) tells the group that,  “He charged my credit card by swiping it through his butt crack.”  Homegirl is either awful dumb or awful accustomed to watching people rub things in their ass cracks.	Aside from Cats being completely insufferable, it’s SO 2000!  Like, literally, the show hasn’t run on Broadway in 11 years.  So, I guess that makes Rach awful dumb.  Upon realizing that the gal ain’t got her wits about her, the swindler forgoes selling her bunk tickets in favor of a good ol’ fashioned mugging.
	Once at the hotel, Schuester puts the glee club on lock down, declaring that they can’t explore the city until they’ve written new material to perform at Nationals.  After some brainstorming, Brittany offers up a catchy albeit lame little tune about her drinking cup.	It wouldn’t take more than the blink of an eye for those kids to realize that being unchaperoned in New York is a license to do whatever the hell you want.  They’d be out takin’ New York like Khloe and Kim (Kardashian, that is) long before Brit has any chance to pen a dim-witted ditty about glassware.
	In a take charge moment, Quinn convinces the club that they should forget Schuester’s assignment by saying, “We don’t need to write these songs.   New York’s gonna write them for us.”  They bust onto the streets belting a mash-up of “I Love New York” and “New York, New York It’s a Wonderful Town.”	Nope!  Songwriters who are both incredibly talented and unknown to the younger GLEE audience will write the songs for the group just like they do every week, and that little team of choir geeks will continue to cash in on these songwriters’ body of work just like they do every week.
	The gang makes their way back to the hotel where the girls have a pillow fight!  Yayyy!	The gang makes their way back to the hotel where everyone gets black out drunk off the Everclear that Santana smuggles in her luggage!  Yayyy!
	Finn finally gets the guts to ask Rachel out.  The guys of Glee serenade the couple with “Bella Notte” on a late-night stroll.  She turns him down for a kiss because she doesn’t want anyone standing in the way of her Broadway dreams.  Finn looks devastated and pretty lame in front of his dudes, who just keep on singin’.	Being turned down by Rachel doesn’t lead to much devastation on Finn’s part, given that Quinn is back at the hotel crying her little eyes out over the guy.   The choice between chasing after Rachel and getting back with Quinn should be a no-brainer.
	The glee club learns about Schue’s imminent departure from McKinley, and wishes him well on Broadway.  Schuester tells the kids he won’t be leaving after all.  He realized that staying with New Directions is a more rewarding career move.	Despite the support of his students and colleagues, Schuester decides he won’t be taking a role in CrossRhodes.  He realized that siphoning grant money from his club has the potential to be a more rewarding career move.
	Sunshine Corazon and Rachel face off in the bathroom just before hitting the stage. When Sunshine confesses that her puking is from nerves and not bulimia, Rach comforts her saying, “If you feel like you’re gonna throw up, look at me and I’ll help you through it.”  Whatever the fuck that means.	After that dig about an eating disorder, Sunshine fires back saying that Rachel’s face is what’s giving her the heaves, then she muscles her into a stall and gives her a swirly.  Best frenemies forever!
	Finn plants a rather passionate smooch on Rachel’s lips at the closing of their duet at nationals, which is met with a monumentally awkward silence from the audience.  The two shamble their way back into the group’s formation and together they try to sing their way out of the hole Finn’s just dug for them.	New Directions is disqualified from the competition on the grounds that you’re not allowed to dry hump onstage.
	The list of the winning top 10 schools is posted.  So, of course, shit gets real slow motion.  The club anxiously waits for Schuester to announce where they placed, but *gasp* they didn’t!	No one in glee club is really surprised, considering they’ve never placed at nationals.  They know that they’re like the little engine that couldn’t.
	The club makes it back to McKinley where everyone exchanges a shit ton of “I love you”s.  In a 15 second “Oh balls!  We forgot about wrapping up that plot line” moment, Ms. P makes a banner proudly announcing the club’s 12th place status and has a brief moment with Schuester.	Tension’s running high, what with the club not winning and all.  The members of New Directions exchange blame over who’s really at fault for their loss.   Sue adds a “1′ to Ms. P’s banner, making New Directions the 112th place losers.

 
We’ve got a long way till September!

Gleeks, what do you think season 3 has in store for us?

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