Bake It Up

This girl may be someone you have visions of Texas chainsaw massacring, but here’s the thing – the ditz can BAKE.  Like, the other office peons make a mad stampede to the kitchen whenever word starts osmosing through the walls like some sort of airborne plague of coffee cake.  The powers that be just can’t get rid of this chick when she stirs up office morale with some sugary sweets.

You know what this means, right?  If you want to outdo this girl, you’re going to have to bake it up.  It’s like stepping it up, only with an oven.  You just have to promise that you’re not going to make her cupcake super extra special.  We don’t condone poison here, get real.

What’s that?  You don’t know the first thing about baking prowess?  What if she brings something on the same day, and they like hers better?  Bitch, please.  That’s why you’re here, reading this.  The secret of great office recipes is not rocket science.  The best thing you can do – make things individually sized.  This is not a time for elaborate ice cream cakes or a triple mousse trifle.  It’s a time for classics.  The ones you’d come home to find your mom taking out of the oven.  And everyone loves her mom.

The ultimate classic, in no uncertain terms:

Chocolate Chip Cookies

1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
3 teaspoons vanilla
2 3/4 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 (12 ounce) package chocolate chips (2 cups)

Combine flour and baking powder in a small bowl, mix with a whisk, and set aside.

Soften butter and shortening together.  Mix together both sugars, salt and vanilla in a large mixing bowl and pour butter mixture over.  Beat well. Add each egg separately, beating until creamy.  Add flour mixture 1/2 cup at a time while beating.

Refrigerate for 1 hour in a covered bowl.

Preheat oven to 375°F.  Drop cookies by large rounded tablespoonful onto a cookie sheet and bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown.

What’s so special about this particular chocolate chip cookie recipe?  This recipe, though slightly more complicated than the old faithful on the back of the chocolate chip bag, will remind you of those cookies you used to get in your school cafeteria.  You know, the amazing ones that were 4/$1 that would be your lunch instead of something healthy.  Chocolate chip cookies are nothing if not nostalgic, so embrace it.  Everyone in the office will bow down to you, weeping for lost youth.  And that other girl?  More like what other girl.  Oh, yeah.

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