This is a movie which, while intending to celebrate female empowerment in all of its ass-kicking sparkly glory, ends up being one of the most egregious offenders. That I saw this movie in France seems entirely apropos. France, a country with its own love-hate relationship with women, gave us Simone de Beauvoir but didn’t give her the right to vote until 1944, even here, audiences seemed confounded. Not a good sign.
Let me say that I wanted to like this movie. I have a penchant for girly sword fighting (see bio below). This had so many things going for it — a cadre of female characters, samurai swords, camaraderie without any Ya-Yas or traveling pants to be seen anywhere — all the hallmarks of a movie that in this post-feminist age I might recuperate as both empowering and entertaining. Insert disappointed sigh here.
Rather than deliver yet another beleaguered account of this movie, I chose to use this as an opportunity to introduce to you a new featurette I’m calling Movie Melee, in which I pit a chosen movie against other cultural products featuring the same tropes and judge which does it better. The only problem with Sucker Punch, which copies from/lovingly embraces elements from so many different forms of media, is where to start. I’ve confined myself to the following:
Round 1
Sailor School Uniforms: Sucker Punch vs. Japanese Pop Culture
The school girl sailor outfit, known to so many Westerners via Japanese manga and anime, and epitomized by the Sailor Moon sensation, actually has its roots in Japanese culture. Schools in Japan do utilize naval-inspired outfits. In Sucker Punch though, it seems like artificial and unnecessary. Maybe because she’s 20. The Japanese win for originating this phenomenon and for the style having meaning.
Sucker Punch: 0
Japan: 1
Round 2
Forced Sequestration By A Family Member: Sucker Punch vs. Flowers in the Attic (the book)
The mother in Flowers in the Attic hides her children in her parents’ estate so that she might win back her inheritance: lies, incest, and murder at the hands of an evil grandmother soon follow. After failing to sexually assault the protagonist and then framing her for murder, Sucker Punch’s evil stepfather commits her to the world’s filthiest, most lax insane asylum. Less scandalous? Yes. More cartoonish? Most definitely.
Sucker Punch: 0
Flowers in the Attic: 1
Round 3
Dancing Orphans: Sucker Punch vs. Annie
The original Annie had it all — camaraderie between girls, great choreography, and overall zeitgeist of spunkiness — what’s not to love? But as I am not the target audience here, I’m inclined to give this one to Sucker Punch. In a modern revisionist Annie, who’s to say those same orphan girls wouldn’t have been inspired by our Girls Gone Wild culture and imagine themselves as exotic dancers? Except that for all the hullaballoo about the damn dancing, in Sucker Punch we never see them dance. I f you’re gonna have a creepy sexist premise, I expect you to deliver.
Sucker Punch: 0
Annie: 1
Round 4
Samurai Sword Badassness: Sucker Punch vs. Kill Bill (1 and 2)
A fair comparison because both are homages: Kill Bill to the Japanese chanbara tradition, such as Lady Snowblood; Sucker Punch to every samurai video game ever made. But while Kill Bill’s over-the-topness is both respectful and obvious, in Sucker Punch there’s no knowing “wink” here. Furthermore, Sucker Punch’s CGI pedigree detracts from its killer choreography.
Sucker Punch: 0
Kill Bill: 2 (’cause Tarantino did it twice)
Round 5
Battling Nazis: Sucker Punch vs. Castle Wolfenstein
Castle Wolfenstein made battling Nazis de rigueur part of our pop culture DNA. Sucker Punch’s zombie Nazis aren’t even innovative (as my fellow WOW guild members tell me). Boo. Couldn’t you at least be cute and throw a “Mein leiben” in there somewhere, a shout-out to your roots?
Sucker Punch: 1
Castle Wolfenstein: 1
Bonus round
Sucker Punch vs. Speeding Train Movies
Frankly, by the time I got to this part of the film I was checked out. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, nor did I care. At first, I thought the only way I could be more lost was if I had seen the movie dubbed in French, then I wondered if that could be an improvement. I’ve seen my fair share of speeding-train-with-a-ticking-time-bomb movies — Unstoppable, Money Train, The Taking of Pelham 123 — any of these is better than Sucker Punch.
Sucker Punch: 0
Time Bomb Trains: 1
And there’s so much more. Sucker Punch’s Orc-like bad guys, its I, Robot-esque drones, the sucker punch of an ending … I could go on (something you are welcome to do in the comments below). Suffice it to say, this film goes beyond pastiche into just plain sheesh. Pass on this one and wait for another to come along and get it right.
The only thing they got right was the title… that is how you will feel when you watch it … it was like they were warning you 😉
I was warned by a guy friend that it was terrible, but he loved Watchmen (the movie), so I took it with a grain of salt. Yeah, bored and I grew up watching video games, not playing, so I have an attention span. I couldn’t muster the energy to be offended because I was so disengaged.
I have a secret love for powerful, kick-ass female heroes, but something about this film’s trailers just doesn’t do it for me. These girls seem like they were written and directed by men … oh wait … It’s really unfortunate. I’ll have to wait until it comes out on DVD to make a final decision.
Thanks for that — I sort of realised how much mainstream movie makers hated women when I saw the Zemeckis BEOWULF and saw that the eleventh century monks who wrote the poem down had more respect and veneration for women than the 21st century filmmakers who could only see women as sex — alternately dangerous or comforting — but only as sex.