| Pros | Cons |
| Your very own cooler during those long, summer nights. | Cuddling during wintertime isn’t all that cozy. |
| You only need to buy food for one. | You are food for one. |
| Rigor Mortis: saving money on Viagra! | Hugs might feel a little stiff. |
| No in-laws! | Some nutso vampire monarch might not approve. |
| They will never be too tired to get it on super late. | But you might be. |
| They’ll always be able to find you, no matter where you are, if you’re in trouble. | They’ll always be able to find you, no matter where you are. |
| If you get into a fight, all you have to do is un-invite them from your house and they have to leave. | With permission from the vampire government, or with all of their club earnings, they can buy your place and never have to wait for your invitation. |
| They’re really good at giving hickies. | You need to start investing in band-aids and turtlenecks. |
| They will never become not-hott. | You will. |
| No pregnancy scares. | All sorts of other scares: like them creeping up behind you super fast, or appearing in really unexpected places. |
Pros and Cons of Dating a Vampire
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