Michelle Obama’s Presidential Cabinet


These days, it seems like people either hate current President Barack Obama or they’re not quite sure about him.  But, hey, you know who’d be able turn the “Obama brand” back to “winning” status in the next Presidential election? 

Michelle Obama. 
michelle_obama300
Her approval ratings are much higher than Barack Obama, so why shouldn’t the First Lady run for president in 2012, instead of Barack? 

Michelle would not only win the presidency, but she would appoint a killer cabinet that I bet would look something like this:

Vice President:  Dr. Jill Biden (current Vice President Joe Biden’s wife)

When Michelle Obama becomes president, Dr. Jill Biden would finally go from being vastly overshadowed by a phenomenal First Lady … to being vastly overshadowed by a phenomenal president. 

Dr. Biden’s new job would require her to be only slightly more recognizable than she currently is — to the point where American citizens might actually find out what she earned her doctorate degree in. 

First Order of Business:  Sitting next to President Michelle Obama, standing next to President Michelle Obama, smiling next to President Michelle Obama, and most importantly, waving next to President Michelle Obama. 


Secretary of State:  First Granny, Marian Robinson (Barack Obama’s Mother-In-Law)

As Secretary of State, Granny Robinson wouldn’t wait for Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi to step down from power — she’d fly directly to Libya, knock on Gaddafi’s door and say to him:

“Muammar… Muammar… Can you come out so we can talk, please?” 

Then, from the other side of his door, Gaddafi would reply: 

“No, I said I’m not stepping down from power!  Leave me alone already!” 

“Muammar… Muammar… I baked you my famous chocolate chip cookies.” 

“You mean the chocolate cookies with the extra chocolate chips?” 

“Yes, Muammar, and I put some extra extra chocolate chips in this time —
just for you.  All you got to do is step down from power, and they’re yours.” 

“But I like being a dictator…”

“I know, Muammar, but you gotta learn how to share your power someday.”

“NO!  LEAVE ME ALONE!” 

“Okay, Muammar.  I guess I’m just gonna have to give these chocolate chip cookies to the rebels—” 

“NO!” 

At that moment, Muammar would open the door, only to discover that there were no delicious chocolate chip cookies.  Granny Robinson would then take that moment to grab Gaddafi by his ear and start spanking him. 

“Ow!  Ow!  Ow!”  Muammar would cry.  “You lied to me!”

Then, Granny Robinson would say:

“That’s diplomacy for you, you little totalitarian punk!”

First Order of Business:  Meet with the Queen of England and ask if Her Highness would like one of the many butterscotch candies Granny Robinson keeps stowed away in her handbag. 

Secretary of the Treasury:  Malia and Sasha Obama (Barack Obama’s daughters) 

Ten-year-old Sasha and 13-year-old Malia would not only raise the debt ceiling a day before the due date, they’d tax the top 1% of the nation’s most wealthy — giving the rich half of their peanut butter and jelly sandwich as a trade off.  They’d “mad dog” members of Wall Street, whose dubious practices led to the Recession, and then they’d set a budget aside to provide “hopscotch” relief to the playgrounds most stricken by the economic crisis. 

Then, Secretary of the Treasury Malia and Sasha would inform investors that Susie told Jimmy, who told Claire, who told Paul, who told them that large corporations were only “players and gold-diggers” and that investors should support small businesses instead. 

First Order of Business:  Create a national “swear jar” and use the money raised to help subsidize bottles of Proactiv for cash-strapped pre-teens all across the country. 

First Gentleman:  Barack Obama 

First Gentleman Barack Obama would spend most of his time being a First Daddy and a strong supporter of his wife.  He would tell people that President Michelle Obama is ready to make the changes the American people want, but the question the American people need to seriously ask themselves is whether they want Michelle to make those changes wearing an Alexander McQueen ensemble, or another Jason Wu number like the fabulous one she wore at the Presidential Inaugural Ball in 2009. 

First Order of Business:  Take Malia and Sasha out for bumper car rides, buy them Dairy Queen ice cream, and then give them a long speech about how they should listen to their mother and not get her mad, because President Michelle might kill them. 

“Seriously,” he would add.  “Because… uhhh… ordering people to be assassinated is kind of part of her job now.” 

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About the author

Ollin Morales is a fiction writer and professional blogger. His blog, Courage 2 Create, offers writing advice as well as strategies to deal with life's tough challenges. Courage 2 Create was named one of The Top Ten Blogs For Writers two years in a row (2011, 2012).

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