Thanksgiving 2012 is coming up this week and what does that mean? A completely unnecessary theme-song revolving around Thanksgiving food, because these things happen now. Brought to you by the same Patrice Wilson who birthed the ungodly “Friday,” and laid it over Rebecca Black’s awkward sways, “It’s Thanksgiving” is sung (I use the term as loosely as possible) by Nicole Westbrook who comes to us straight out of some suburban middle school.
Half of me loves this video for its extreme absurdity (her singing into a drum stick, suggesting 12-year-olds can cook anything let along an entire Thanksgiving meal, the rap-praying that happens before dinner), but another part of me despises it simply because I know it will be in the holiday vernacular for years to come. Does anyone really want to listen to Adam Sandler on Thanksgiving or Hanukkah? No, but you do it every year because it signifies the season as much as awkward relatives and overly-aggressive backyard football games. I fear “It’s Thanksgiving” will take on a similar cultural significance and someday, I’ll have to explain to my kids what the hell it is.
Until then, I can only ask questions in order to give my future offspring some good answers: Why is a middle-aged tattooed man going to parties consisting of only tweens? Why are you explaining to me how the calendar works? Why is Nicole wearing a shirt that says “Dance ‘Til Dawn’ when her bedtime is totally no later than 9:30pm? Who actually x’s off days on their calendar? Who includes mac and cheese in their Thanksgiving dinner? Actually, I take that back. I’m going to make mac n cheese this year, that’s a great idea. But if Patrice Wilson shows up at my door in a turkey costume, I’m just going to be pissed. I mean I’ll feed him, I’m not a monster. But I’ll be pissed.
