InsecurityIn perhaps one of the greatest paradoxes of all time, actors feign security while playing a role, yet seem to lack it in their personal lives. Mind you, this is a gross generalization, but it’s not difficult to understand why this is oft the case. Actors are told “no” on a consistent basis and are judged on way more than just their talent. No wonder they break their backs playing other people. It keeps them from having to chant, “I like myself, I’m worth a lot,” in the mirror.
Work, Work, Work
I’ve been on dates with a few actors at different stages in their careers, but the conversation was always the same. Acting is all actors talk about. That, and themselves, which I guess is the same thing. Like a football jock who lives, eats and breathes pigskin, actors can’t get their minds off their next role, which translates to a lot of yawning, eye-rolling and kill-me-now boredom on your part — behind his back, of course. And think again if you actually plan on getting some words in yourself.
The Camera Adds Ten Pounds…
There’s a string of words I never want to hear a man say: “Honey, do these jeans make my ass look fat?” It’s great to be health conscious, but when a man exercises ’round the clock and inhales a Triscuit and half a grape and calls it a meal, you’ve got yourself a problem.
Mistaken Identity
Just because an actor has finished a role doesn’t mean he’s done with the part. I went out with a cheeky and jaded actor who, in a bipolar fit of rage intended to exemplify his so-called brilliance, referred to himself as a Black Panther. Um, no, sweetheart. You just played one on the big screen. Which leads me to my next point…
On the Richter Scale of Crazy…
Charlie Sheen, Christian Bale, Alec Baldwin. We’ve all heard their antics and tantrums, both on and off set. For whatever reason, creative types tend to be more eccentric than your average person. And by eccentric, I mean crazy, and you can’t exactly win with crazy. So, if an actor tries to step to you, save yourself the trouble by chucking up the deuces and running for the hills.
*[Editor’s Note: The opinions of the author are not necessarily the opinions of Comediva. If you are an actor, or Christian Bale, please do not throw cupcakes at us. Actually, please do, but only cupcakes.]
I recently broke it off with a fairly well know actor and I totally agree. Mood swings, creepy sexual habits, crazy exes, multiple divorces, kids in rehab, horribly insecure, obsessed with appearance and image, vain, a complete slob, drug use, having to deal with his manager and “spiritual adviser” know every detail of our relationship and control everything we did….the list goes on! Hollywood is a crazy and toxic place filled with crazy and toxic people. If you meet and actor, run the other way! One of the worst experiences of my life.
I agree with S Turner. If you had this kind of problems dating actors, then you have dated the wrong ones. I’m a stage actor myself, and if there is a real problem most actors I know suffer from is lack of money. And even so it’s not a general rule.
In the first part you talk about insecurity and relate it to the “fact” that actors deal with denial on a daily basis at work. Sorry to say, but if an actor is being told “no” enough to get psicological problems out of it, then they simply act bad, and should train more or change their profession. I admit I’m not a good actor, but even so I never get this amount of “no” as you intend to make the readers think an average actor receives. If a man is insecure and a player, is just because he has issues he should solve, not because he’s an actor.
Then you say actors just know how to talk about work. That is untrue. Of course we like to talk about it, but with the people related to it, not all the time. I talk about it with my crew, not my girlfriend. For the most part I’d rather talk about anything but work.
Then, you talk about actors who eat bad and are just too self-conscious of their bodies. If you date a guy who thinks half a grape is a meal, that’s because he is bulimic something related, not because he is an actor. Yes, there are times when we need to eat too little to perform a specific character, like a bulimic, or work out too much to do another kind of character, and so on. But it should ALWAYS be with the help of a nutricionist. And that means stay healthy during the process.
The mistaken identity you refer to is a psicological problem not related simply by the fact that the person acts, but can, indeed be worsened by it. This guy is not crazy because he is an actor, he is just crazy. Any good actor knows how to deal with playing different characters, someone can’t he’s just not a good actor. You talk about the crazyness of some actors, and that just helped prove my point. In what reality is Charlie Sheen a good actor? I’ve seen a lot of movies with him, and he’s just always the same character, or acts bad. And yes, that includes the famous “Platoon”, where he’s simply the worst actor on the movie.
Bottomline, you dated some actors, all of them are crazy. You just have what im Brazil is called “rotten finger”. I know how you feel, I also have it. But I dated some women, a few actressess, a few were not. And the actressess didn’t fit any of your descriptions.
Truly, there are many crazy actors, I personally know a lot of them. But I also know many people with completely different jobs having the same problems, just more well hidden! The most crazy people I know aren’t even actors, one is a physicist, another is a historian, another is a computer programmer, and the craziest of all is a journalist. You can’t define a person just by his/her career, specially based solely on relationships you had that went wrong. It’s illogical and denotes a serious lack of knowlege and/or analysis on your part.
I found this atricle in a google search, and I felt I should weight in. I don’t really think this is a fair assessment. I think that this author is stereotyping and very unfairly at that. I am a stage actor, and I fit none of these characteristics this author would like to attribute to me. One of the foremost things any good actor needs to have is confidence in themselves to take risks in their performance, so any serious actor cannot be insecure in themselves. Frankly, if the author would say that their rejection is the sorce of their insercuirites; it’s really the other way around.
While is it true that actors are passionate about their work, I do not know any of my peers that sit around all the time and talk about theatre or acting. Unlike the author would have you believe, actors are real people who enjoy regular conversation. An actor must be health conscious as their body and voice is all they have, but the only actors I have ever heard ask “do these jeans…” are the bad ones who usually are highly vain and acting for all the wrong reasons.
While the author would like you to believe that actors are playing their character all the time, this claim is ridiculous. A well trained actor has been taught to leave his character at the door of their set or their stage. It is true, however, that actors are always looking to life for inspiration, but it is ridiculous for an actor to be in character all the time. That idea is couter to natural tendencies and good actor training. Finally, the author would have you believe that actors are prone to getting upset. I’ll ask you, who isn’t prone to anger? There is no person on earth that doesn’t get upset and throw a “tantrum” once in a while, and the author makes it seem as though actors are the only ones.
It seems to me that this author is taking their opinions from a select number of bad actors and applying it to the while group, unfairly. Most actors make great partners, but as the this writer shows there are some bad ones. I don’t think this author presents a fair assessment of an entire group of people. Most actors are thoughtful, great with people, well spoken, forward thinking, relaxed, and highly aware of their bodies. I implore any reader to take this author’s one sided, albeit incorrect, assessment with only the grain of salt it deserves.
I agree, and I live in Los Angeles.
For 12 months I tried dating a formerly famous TV and movie actor. A nice enough guy, but not only does he talk about himself obsessively around the clock, he just isn’t normal. He’s got the attention span of a parakeet and with the things he says and does sometimes, I’ve come to the conclusion that he is flat out stir-crazy.
He thinks he is fun and exciting. Trust me, crazy isn’t exciting when you are over 30. Crazy is exhausting.
Never, ever date an actor. I don’t care how hot he looked on the screen. Stay away. Nothing good will ever come out of it. They are crazy.