If so, Jack going gay for Reagan would be Exhibit 1 of my “30 Rock-Wants-to-Out-Gay-Glee Theory.”
Meanwhile, Liz finds an old DVD of The Secret. The Secret is the idea that you can visualize what you want in your life and “the universe” will give it to you. Personally, I have my doubts. (During a commercial break, I saw a preview for “Crazy, Stupid, Love” and tried visualizing Ryan Gosling as my new boy toy. I felt a tingle in my crotch, but that’s about it.) Liz goes on to assert that she is master of her own fate and doesn’t need the “universe” to help her. She calls this new philosophy “Lizbeanism,” which sounds a lot like lesbianism.
Ahem.
May I present to you Exhibit 2: Liz Lemon declares her secret lesbianism!
By the way, how great would it be if Tina Fey WAS a lesbian, right? That would mean that her and Ellen could get married and have the most hilarious lesbian baby in the world!
Listen, if 30 Rock wants to seriously K.O. (K.O. = Kneel Over) Glee they’re gonna have to pull out ALL the stops. I’m talking Liz Lemon singing “On My Own” from Les Mis. Jack and Avery — in her Reagan mask — doing a duet of “I’ll Cover You” from RENT. (“With a thousand sweet kisses… I’ll trickle the economy down over youuuuu!)
As I sat there, imagining a more Glee-ified version of 30 Rock, I was shocked to discover that the writers had already taken it up a crotch—I mean—a notch:
Jack discovers that Kim Jong-il has taken Avery hostage and—gasp! Jong-il is played by none other than all-time favorite gay advocate, Margaret Cho.
May I present to you Exhibit 3? Margaret Cho playing Kim Jong-il.
Gutsy move, 30 Rock. Glee’s booking agent just started dialing Liza Minnelli’s number, while shouting, “IT’S SO ON!”
In order to save Avery, Jack has to persuade Condolezza Rice to flex her diplomatic powers and force Kim Jong-il to free Avery.
Exhibit 4: Condolezza Rice. “Single.” Short hair. Wears pantsuits. Spent eight years serving BUSH, while disliking DICK. How much gayer can you get?
Finally, in order to secure Condi’s help, Jack has to square off with Condi in a piano vs. flute competition.
Exhibit 5: Jack plays the flute, a clear phallic symbol representing Jack’s repressed desire for phals—which, if you didn’t know, are pals from the Philippines. Phals.
And you do know lots of Philipino men are gay, right?
Ladies and gays, I rest my case.
30 Rock is now the gayest show on television.
Your move, Glee.
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