Some days it feels like the world is being led by a bunch of 10-year-olds who don’t want to clean their rooms, hate doing their homework and didn’t study for that 
But when politicians WHO ARE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT start quoting Pokemon in campaign speeches, you have to start wondering if the Onion has started secretly writing up talking points and replacing politico’s speech materials.
Okay, okay, fine, the Republican presidential candidate who is obsessed with Pokemon is Herman Cain and Herman Cain has already made it plenty clear he’s better with pizza than politics. BUT he has now quoted Pokemon on his official campaign website (which he misattributes to the 2000 Olympics closing song) at his official campaign announcement and at the Republican Leadership Conference.
His favorite quote?
“Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.”
It’s a lyric from “The Power of One,” a song written for Pokemon: The Movie 2000 by Donna Summer.
Frankly, I’d have more respect for Cain if he’d just gone for the Pokemon references and didn’t try to cover it up with, “Oh, it’s a line from a poet,” or pretended that it was from the Olympic ceremonies. But, like any 10-year-old trying to be cool, Cain can’t seem to own up to his love for something as nerdy and adorable as Pokemon.
Which is why I won’t be voting for Cain, but I will totally be applying for a tourist visa to visit Niue, the island off New Zealand that has just issued official, legal tender with the main characters of the original Star Wars series on them. That’s right. A random island nation (which is technically part of New Zealand and thus part of the British Commonwealth) has decided to put R2-D2, C3-PO, Princess Leah and Luke Skywalker on a set of collectable coins for pretty much no reason at all.
One can only assume that Niue decided they needed Star Wars money because their country sounds like something straight out of the Star Wars universe. I’m super proud of them for picking the old school, original characters to honor this way, rather than Jar Jar Binks. Confused, but proud, nonetheless. Considering that George Lucas charges Google for the use of the word, “droid,” one can only imagine what they’re paying for the use of the characters.
No matter how much I admire the Niueians (see, sounds like they should be hanging out in the Mos Esley’s cantina, right?) for flying their nerd flags high… WTF? What is going on guys?? Has a Batman style villain started poisoning political figures with immaturity juice? Is this what happened to Washington DC this summer?
It makes so much sense now… Obama keeps acting like a disappointed parent because Congress really has secretly been regressed to a mental age of 10 and they are actually spending all their time texting with their friends and telling their teachers, “I don’t have to do what you say, you’re not my mom!”
That would explain all the ridiculous number of text message and Tweet based political scandals lately as well, come to think of it. And the total failures on basic historical references, legal issues and other “grownup” style learning. It must be true! Someone has turned at least half the politicians on the planet into middle graders, which leads to one obvious, burning question.
Does this mean Batman is real too???
history quiz. When the Onion does a spoof article on an emergency team of fourth grade teachers being sent to Washington to fill Congress in on how the American governmental system works and most of the comments are, “Can someone actually do this please?” You know you’re in trouble.
But when politicians WHO ARE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT start quoting Pokemon in campaign speeches, you have to start wondering if the Onion has started secretly writing up talking points and replacing politico’s speech materials.
Okay, okay, fine, the Republican presidential candidate who is obsessed with Pokemon is Herman Cain and Herman Cain has already made it plenty clear he’s better with pizza than politics. BUT he has now quoted Pokemon on his official campaign website (which he misattributes to the 2000 Olympics closing song) at his official campaign announcement and at the Republican Leadership Conference.
His favorite quote?
“Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.”
It’s a lyric from “The Power of One,” a song written for Pokemon: The Movie 2000 by Donna Summer.
Frankly, I’d have more respect for Cain if he’d just gone for the Pokemon references and didn’t try to cover it up with, “Oh, it’s a line from a poet,” or pretended that it was from the Olympic ceremonies. But, like any 10-year-old trying to be cool, Cain can’t seem to own up to his love for something as nerdy and adorable as Pokemon.
Which is why I won’t be voting for Cain, but I will totally be applying for a tourist visa to visit Niue, the island off New Zealand that has just issued official, legal tender with the main characters of the original Star Wars series on them. That’s right. A random island nation (which is technically part of New Zealand and thus part of the British Commonwealth) has decided to put R2-D2, C3-PO, Princess Leah and Luke Skywalker on a set of collectable coins for pretty much no reason at all.
One can only assume that Niue decided they needed Star Wars money because their country sounds like something straight out of the Star Wars universe. I’m super proud of them for picking the old school, original characters to honor this way, rather than Jar Jar Binks. Confused, but proud, nonetheless. Considering that George Lucas charges Google for the use of the word, “droid,” one can only imagine what they’re paying for the use of the characters. No matter how much I admire the Niueians (see, sounds like they should be hanging out in the Mos Esley’s cantina, right?) for flying their nerd flags high… WTF? What is going on guys?? Has a Batman style villain started poisoning political figures with immaturity juice? Is this what happened to Washington DC this summer?
It makes so much sense now… Obama keeps acting like a disappointed parent because Congress really has secretly been regressed to a mental age of 10 and they are actually spending all their time texting with their friends and telling their teachers, “I don’t have to do what you say, you’re not my mom!”
That would explain all the ridiculous number of text message and Tweet based political scandals lately as well, come to think of it. And the total failures on basic historical references, legal issues and other “grownup” style learning. It must be true! Someone has turned at least half the politicians on the planet into middle graders, which leads to one obvious, burning question.
Does this mean Batman is real too???
