Know Your Limits

The wise Tyra Banks once said, “Model through it.”  This is something I constantly remind myself whenever I’m surrounded by silly, asinine, wildly pigheaded douchebags of the male sex.  Really, what’s the point in contributing to their pseudo-intellectual talk?  You’ll only exacerbate things by overwhelming them with your feminine power, thus castrating the conversation and rendering all testosterone useless.  And this will make it all the more difficult to persuade them to someday join the ranks as one of your subordinates; “I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles, but today it means getting along with people” (Gandhi).  It’s better to let them think they have the upper hand, politely nod along as they say foolish things, save the irrevocable laughter for your own thoughts — if you play your cards right, you can rip them apart later.

And this is why I fully endorse this video find.  It’s a perfect example of how sensitive men are when it comes to being upstaged by strong women.  And the result? Awkward silence and perfectly delicious entrees gone to waste.  And when she got home, he probably went straight up to bed, kept her up with is poorly masked sobs, and wouldn’t even cuddle with her.  And the next morning left before tasting the mozzarella and portabella quiche she MADE FROM SCRATCH with the over-priced, imported ingredients she hunted the city to find JUST FOR HIM.

So save your energy, ladies, til that day comes.  “Model through it.”  Besides, laughing at someone’s expense is all the more enjoyable when they don’t know you’re doing it, no?