It’s warmer. While May 5 is a mere month and a half apart from St. P’s, it’s a month that makes the difference between the thaw and the glorious return of spring. You have longer, warmer days, which means warmer, party-conducive nights. Drunken stumbling is always easier when you don’t need to remember your coat.
It’s a fixed date. What day is St. Patrick’s Day? Does anyone know? Apparently it’s linked to like, the Catholic calendar or something. Boo, major buzzkill, am I right? Cinco de Mayo is, obvs, on the same day every year, and it doesn’t have any religious origin, so you don’t have to feel remotely bad about making out with a stranger if you’re Catholic. (Though I’m sure that never stopped anyone on St. Patrick’s anyhow.)
More colors. Everyone wears green on St. Patrick’s, but Cinco de Mayo has green AND red AND white! This makes for more waredrobe options and for more delicious, festive food. Who wants green eggs and ham when you can have a tricolor dish with guacamole and tomato? Mmmmm. Which brings us to…
Better food. Have you ever eaten Irish food? No, not “Irish nachos,” which is nachos on potato skin (note that they are faux Mexican and inferior to the original nacho, which everyone knows is amazing). Irish fare is salty meat and potatoes. Oh joy. Mexican food, on the other hand, is delectable, and the perfect food to end a night of drinking. Two AM cheese tamale? And how! Midnight burrito? Is there any other kind? And can you say, “taquito”? I know there are some people at Comediva who would personally agree it is the world’s most perfect drunk, sober, and hungover food.
Better booze. This one’s a matter of taste, but let’s face it: at the heart of the matter, whiskey is for depressed people, and tequila is for good times. Who ever cried themselves to sleep while wearing a sombrero? Margaritas are fruity and fun! Irish car bombs result in fist fights. And if you don’t like hard alcohol, you must admit, Dos Equis and Corona go down easier than that heavy Guinness. In terms of drinkability, Cinco de Mayo wins.
In conclusion: Viva la Mexico! Just as everyone’s Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, on Cinco de Mayo, everyone’s Mexican. Go out and celebrate!
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Taquitos for breakfast. With Tapatio. That is the consumption pattern of the certain Comediva employee noted.