What’s Inside Gloria Pritchett’s Makeup Bag?

Style sleuth Lisa Wyczesany brings you her findings! 

Gloria Pritchett – Modern Family

Someone as stunningly beautiful and curvaceous as Gloria Pritchett couldn’t possibly have any secrets to her natural, exotic beauty…right? Wrong! I dug through her Prada makeup bag and underneath all the lip-gloss, luminous mascara and “baby cheeses” was — dare I say — crumpled toilet paper! That’s right, turns out Gloria’s most glorified lady lumps come compliments of the porcelain god itself… BUSTed! This beauty secret, though discovered in my own bathroom circa sixth grade, still comes in handy to even the most glamorous of TV babes.

Chloe – Don’t Trust the B- in Apt. 23

I’ll admit it, at first I was a hesitant to find out what bizarre personables would be in Chloe’s makeup bag, but after poking around and finding mostly blood red lipsticks and charcoal black eye liners, I realized that I’d have to dig a bit deeper. Tucked away in a hidden zipped compartment was a mass frenzy of latex rubbers! Way to go, Chloe (I think)! Strangely enough, her biggest beauty secret was a smart one… because nothing says, “I’m beautiful,” like being STD and morning sickness free.

Amy Farrah Fowler – The Big Bang Theory

Not often would I seek beauty advice from a neurobiologist who prefers video chat to real human interaction and who wears menstrual pads all the time to avoid “surprises,” but behold, beauty does come in all shapes, sizes and IQs! Inside Amy’s stainless steel, Star Wars makeup box, I found seven different flavors of chapstick, contact lenses and — gasp —  a calculator!? Normally, I’d say contact lenses were the big beauty secret here (why not try them out, Amy?), but a genius know-it-all, secretly self-conscious about their accuracy? Now that’s hot.

Sarah O’Brien – Downton Abbey

I was most anxious to discover what was in O’Brien’s makeup “bag” — well, it was more like a dirty table napkin tied with some twine, but for a career woman in 1920, that’s quite the fashion statement. Inside O’Brien’s makeup sack, I found a small lump of coal, a feather, and a whoopee cushion?! Of course! In a time when bare faces were the rage and only prostitutes ever really fashioned makeup, women had to get creative. For a Debbie Downer such as O’Brien, a whoopee cushion is just the thing to turn that servant frown upside down. What better way to keep your skin looking young than with some well deserved breaks of laughter!