I have heard about and experienced firsthand the nightmare that is internet dating. It seems the internet is a breeding ground for perverts, douche bags, and mental pygmies. I would be remiss if I did not share these experiences with all of you Comedivas. Yes, these are real conversations.
Talk’s Cheap
GreasyGuido: I wanna get to know you Whats your number baby lets hook up.
MissAnthropic: I can only imagine how many people you have sent that exact message to.
GreasyGuido: Just you, baby. You want to meat up tonight I got what you need
MissAnthropic: What is scary to me is that probably was not a typo and you actually meant “meat up.” Do you have about $10,000, calorie free vodka and the power to forgive student loans? That’s what I need.
GreasyGuido: I don’t know what you talking about babygirl you like my muscles? Why don’t you let me call you ill let you rub me down with baby oil
MissAnthropic: You cannot be serious. How chivalrous of you to allow me to lube you up. Can I rub your feet and fan you while feeding you grapes? That is so romantic, I am literally swooning.
GreasyGuido: do you want to bone down or what, stop waisting my time
MissAnthropic: Well, when you put it like that, how can I resist?
GreasyGuido: ok whats your number
MissAnthropic: Has this approach actually worked for you in the past? I am actually very interested in your success rate. If it’s high, I am very concerned for my gender.
GreasyGuido: bitch you talk to much, go away.
MissAnthropic: But I thought we had a serious love connection here…….
GreasyGuido: I already got pussy for the night so foget it
MissAnthropic: Oh.. I am so sad I missed my chance. =(
