1. Start easy with a single Katniss braid (or if your hair’s too short, slap on a sneer and say you’re preparing for 2013’s Catching Fire by emulating Panem’s favorite misanthrope, Johanna Mason).
2. Early riser? Get to the office before everyone else and only make enough coffee for ONE person. This is a guaranteed fight to the death.
3. Explain away any bad hair/clothes/face day by saying you’re protesting the Capitol’s outrageous premium on looks over substance and NOT EVERYONE HAS A STYLIST, OKAY?! God.
4. Happy Hour is now Haymitch Hour, and if you go overboard… well, then you did it right.
5. Why play paper football when you can unravel some paperclips and use your co-worker’s wall of family photos for target practice?
6. Exclusively refer to the outside smoking area as “The Hob.” Feel cool.
7. Pita Peeta pockets for lunch (a gimme, but a delicious gimme).
8. Stack a pile of the office’s premium snacks on your desk with a sign that reads “CORNUCOPIA.” Leave for the bathroom, wait for the stampede.
9. Whenever you and the three people you can stand in the office need to blow off steam about your prep-schooled, khaki’ed, square-jawed office alphas, refer to them as the Careers. If you’re overheard, people will likely assume you’re just annoyed about careers as a concept, which… may still be true.
10. Answer all compliments with a three finger salute and a triumphant, “Who’s the girl on fire NOW?!”*
*May require an immediate apology.
