Greetings, from one half of the Lesbros duo!
Some of you might be asking, “WTF is a ‘lesbro’?” Well, it’s as simple as: 1 lesbian + 1 dude = BFFs. Said dude doesn’t have to be straight; the bottom line is, as long as there’s one lesbian present in a friendship with 0 chance of a Chasing Amy twist, it’s a lesbromance.
But even though this term is brand new, the general concept isn’t. In fact, here’s a list of just some of me and Luis’s predecessors:
1. Willow/Xander (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Like every teenage witch on the road to self-discovery, Willow might’ve played with the thought of getting it on with her guy BFF at some point. However, when shit went down and she honed her powers and lesbianism, the pair were nothing more than platonic feelings-sharers and back-havers. Yes. “Slayerette” is really just code for “lesbros.”
2. Ellen Degeneres/DJ Tony Okungbowa
One of the primary responsibilities of a lesbro is to ensure their ‘bro has a good time. And what better way to have a great time than to drop some phat beats and get your lesbro poppin’ and lockin’? Ellen sways to the music of Okungbowa, and the pair march to the beat of their own synthesizer.
3. Callie Torres/Mark Sloan (Grey’s Anatomy)
Alright, alright, I know what you’re thinking: these two were totally fuck-buddies, and Mark wound up being Callie’s baby-daddy. However, every good lesbian knows “sexuality is fluid” and all that, and when the downtown parts are buzzin’ from an incessant dry spell and ugly break-up, there’s no telling what kind of rain dance someone will do to lure a tsunami. And with the immediate return to non-sexual BFFness upon Arizona Robbins’s arrival, with Mark often dishing out promising relationship advice, and vice versa, McSteamy satisfied one of the criteria for Stand-Up Lesbro: non-judgy judge emotional bucket and faucet, all in one.
4. Virginia Woolf/Leonard Woolf
Just as we’re sure to point out when prompted with too-difficult Marry/Fuck/Kill options, just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re actually doing it. Being that Leonard stood by Virginia in her time of need/descent into schizophrenia, in spite of her intimate correspondence with women and Orlando, proves the author’s hubby was committed in one of the greatest lesbro ways possible: letting her completely show her crazy side with zero consequences or worries of institutionalization.
5. Eleanor Roosevelt/FDR
Ah, yes. The lesbo-versy of the 20th century. Was she, or wasn’t she? Does it matter, or not? I’m gonna go ahead and say yes, because there’s no harm in inviting one of the greatest activists of all time into my team’s dug-out. Rumor has it Eleanor was a huge help in FDR’s presidential work, as well as a very eloquent lady-love writer.
6. Clarissa Vaughan/Richard Brown (The Hours)
As any lesbian will tell you, The Hours should really be retitled as The Lesbians. One of the three main relationships featured in the book/movie is the one shared between very depressed and dying author Richard — son of very depressed closet-case Laura Brown — and zealous friend, social director, and sapphoite Clarissa. Apart from the magic that is seeing the great Meryl Streep lock lips with the amazing Allison Janney, Vaughan is Brown’s only connection to the world beyond his own apartment, and while their previous romantic relationship is long gone, the two gays managed to withstand thousands of ice cream pints worth of feelings to Richard’s dying day.
7. Rachel Maddow/Anderson Cooper
I’m actually not even sure if these two hang out regularly. But I AM sure that all of my lesbro-themed dreams often include BFF fro-yo hang-out time with them, and when I wake up after I’m so happy all I want to do is fall asleep again so we can continue our discussion on the Israel/Palestine crisis. And group-nap. Seriously, though, if these two were to go the turkey baster route, their baby would be the Jesus of political analysis and general adorkability.
8. Florence Nightingale/God
Let’s face it: God is the ultimate lesbro. Case in point: when Nightingale was searching for her life’s purpose, apart from keeping in touch with a very, very, VERY close girl-friend via romantic letters and diary entries, God came to her in a vision and directed her toward nursehood. AKA No, He did NOT come to her and say, “Yo, Flo, you really gotta cut it out with the lesbian stuff. That’s a no-no up hurr.” He had bigger fish to fry. He had her back and didn’t think any less of her for it. In fact, when her time came to catch a ride up to heaven, the two probably chatted about every day things and shared tips on saving lives. You know. Because they got each other.
BONUS: Luis Navarro/Vickie Toro
Check out our lesbromance below!
