Disney movies are full of things we go crazy for but can’t have in real life: random song and dance, magic spells, talking animals, true love…but for all their awesomeness, most Disney films have an element of buzzkill. Now don’t go trading in those mouse ears just yet, the good news is that even those buzzkill characters are usually pretty great. Usually. Here are the top five Disney characters that are awesome at being awful.
Eeyore – Winnie the Pooh
It’s no surprise that this downer donkey made the list, his world view can be summed up by his catchphrase “Oookay.” Then again, you can’t really blame him for always seeming to have something up his butt (seriously, who’s idea was it to nail that tail back on him?)
Cruella de Vil – 101 Dalmatians
For nearly a century, Disney villains have been capturing princesses, overthrowing kingdoms, and setting elaborate curses—but only one has ever been so foul as to kidnap PUPPIES to skin and make outrageously fabulous clothing with. I don’t care how avant garde she is, even that hunter that shot Bambi’s mom let Bambi off the hook.
Zazu – The Lion King
This buzzard of buzzkill couldn’t possibly be more sour grapes over Simba’s promotion to king. We get it, we get it. Mufasa is a tough boss and it can’t be easy watching the brat you babysit take his place, but come on, bro. It’s a good thing he’s funny.
Alice’s Sister – Alice in Wonderland
Are you kidding me? Your little sister has the most amazing vivid dream that even today, more than 60 years later, hipsters are still reppin’ on their Tumblrs, and you wake her up? So you can scold her? And then make her do homework? Girl, I’m glad they never even gave you a name…
All of Sid’s Toys – Toy Story
I’m not saying they’re not good toys, but for years, these little weirdos gave me nightmares. Why animators felt they needed to introduce a Hills Have Eyes horror element into the greatest movie of anyone’s childhood this side of ’95 is beyond me. I’m sure parents in the audience were equally freaked by the constant reminder of how f**ked up and weird kids can be if left unchecked.
