Greek Culture is a big part of the college experience. No, I’m not talking about the one-night stand you had with that International student during Orientation week, and I’m definitely not talking about those Falafel balls they serve in the dining hall in the Lower Quads. I’m talking about Fraternities! We’ve all taken advantage of their free Jungle juice and ruffies, but before you put out for any frat boy, it’s important to know what kind of frat boy you’re fraternizing with.
The Popped Collar Frat Boy is extremely polished and often times attractive (if you’re attracted to vain guys who primp). His main priority is the way he looks, the way he is perceived, and all things him. Often a name-dropper, Popped Collar likes to establish his place in frat boy society. You’ll probably hear him tell you where he bought his new green shoes or how he got out of a ticket while driving his dad’s Mercedes last weekend while driving up the PCH.
The Nice Frat Boy is the equivalent of a stupid, but nice guy. Nice Fratboy listens to Nickelback and smashes beer cans on his forehead, but he’ll never leave you with your head in a public urinal. While there is not much going on inside his head, he is often found hanging out with his bros and concocting new drinking games. And as he is always the life of the party, he often finds himself naked on top of a roof after a homecoming rager (though he is never embarrassed). Nice Frat Boy always means well and despite the fact that he has the vocabulary of a two-day old Alaskan Halibut, he’s nice to have around for late night walks home and early morning snuggling.
This one bought his way into the club… and life for that matter. Having grown up with no friends and the social skills of a 13-year-old serial killer, The Money Frat Boy has rich parents who were able to fund his 9th grade headgear, his acceptance into Stanford, and his membership to Sigma Kappa DoucheMe. The Money Frat Boy can be defensive and needy at the same time — avoid at all costs, even after you’ve been funneling beers for 53 minutes straight.
Too Cool for School Frat Boy joined a fraternity when he was a freshman because everyone else was doing it, but he is unenthusiastic and highly inactive among his fraternity brothers now that he is a junior. While he attends all house events to scope out chicks, he often spits out apathetic comments like, “I’m not really in the frat anymore,” or “I dropped out but I’m here for the free beer.” In reality, Too Cool for School is a late bloomer and hasn’t yet learned how to think for himself, he’ll probably need to hit up grad school before he finds himself and develops a real personality.
The Ivy Frat Boy is among the most prestigious of Frat Boys. This super-species is mentally and academically polished and is by far the most likely to succeed. The Ivy Frat Boy is well rounded, heavily active on campus as well as in the local community, and uses Fraternity resources in order to socialize. The Ivy Frat Boy is also the most diverse among the Frat Boy prototypes; he can be ethnic, nerdy, athletic, hell — he may even be gay!
The Popped Collar Frat Boy is extremely polished and often times attractive (if you’re attracted to vain guys who primp). His main priority is the way he looks, the way he is perceived, and all things him. Often a name-dropper, Popped Collar likes to establish his place in frat boy society. You’ll probably hear him tell you where he bought his new green shoes or how he got out of a ticket while driving his dad’s Mercedes last weekend while driving up the PCH.
The Nice Frat Boy is the equivalent of a stupid, but nice guy. Nice Fratboy listens to Nickelback and smashes beer cans on his forehead, but he’ll never leave you with your head in a public urinal. While there is not much going on inside his head, he is often found hanging out with his bros and concocting new drinking games. And as he is always the life of the party, he often finds himself naked on top of a roof after a homecoming rager (though he is never embarrassed). Nice Frat Boy always means well and despite the fact that he has the vocabulary of a two-day old Alaskan Halibut, he’s nice to have around for late night walks home and early morning snuggling.
This one bought his way into the club… and life for that matter. Having grown up with no friends and the social skills of a 13-year-old serial killer, The Money Frat Boy has rich parents who were able to fund his 9th grade headgear, his acceptance into Stanford, and his membership to Sigma Kappa DoucheMe. The Money Frat Boy can be defensive and needy at the same time — avoid at all costs, even after you’ve been funneling beers for 53 minutes straight.
Too Cool for School Frat Boy joined a fraternity when he was a freshman because everyone else was doing it, but he is unenthusiastic and highly inactive among his fraternity brothers now that he is a junior. While he attends all house events to scope out chicks, he often spits out apathetic comments like, “I’m not really in the frat anymore,” or “I dropped out but I’m here for the free beer.” In reality, Too Cool for School is a late bloomer and hasn’t yet learned how to think for himself, he’ll probably need to hit up grad school before he finds himself and develops a real personality.
The Ivy Frat Boy is among the most prestigious of Frat Boys. This super-species is mentally and academically polished and is by far the most likely to succeed. The Ivy Frat Boy is well rounded, heavily active on campus as well as in the local community, and uses Fraternity resources in order to socialize. The Ivy Frat Boy is also the most diverse among the Frat Boy prototypes; he can be ethnic, nerdy, athletic, hell — he may even be gay!
