It seems that if you are named Liam, you are destined for the spotlight and will likely spend up to seventy-five percent of your life brooding – either onstage or on camera. However, not all Liams are created equal, and some Liams make better Liams than other Liams. To save you time from your own hassle of Liam-ranking, we’ve compiled the definitive list of the best Liams of all time.
5. Liam Payne
Simon Cowell knew that when assembling the next biggest thing in English boybandery, it was absolutely essential that he include a Liam. After sorting through thousands of of C.V.s, he settled on this particular Liam, known for his ability to make tween girls swoon, a skill many Liams are familiar with, but have not mastered.
4. Liam O’Donnell
Various Cruelties frontman and creator Liam O’Donnell has succeeded where many Liams have never dared to go: Hipster territory. This crooner’s band is described as mixture of “mod, goth, and pop,” which are terms that could appear on most Liam’s personal calling cards – or in their files at their shrinks’ offices.
3. Liam Hemsworth
A rare breed of Liam, the famous Australian native, Liam Hemsworth is something of an outlier when it comes to vague generalizations of what Liamhood generally entails. When not contemplating the loneliness of Ayer’s Rock, Liam Hemsworth can either be found comparing his success to his brothers’ or canoodling with Miley Cyrus. Very few other Liams have crossed paths with a Cyrus and lived to tell about it.
2. Liam Gallagher
A truly iconic Liam, Oasis’ Gallagher made quite a name for Liams in the ’90s and established – early on – that to be a true Liam is to be moody, egocentric, and occasionally very, very mean. While most Liams don’t take their tempers and angst to quite the level of this particular one, it is often discussed by other Liams that Liam Gallagher made being a tempermental Liam into an exquisite sort of art.
1. Liam Neeson
The Liam of all Liams, this most-esteemed Liam has mastered the art of Liaminity. He’s shown his acting chops, he’s suffered, he’s persevered. He truly has mastered his Liamhood. He could retire and be plain old Mr. Neeson, but he knows that he is a role model of all other Liams. Behold! Liam Neeson, the quintessential and best Liam.
