Dating Survival Guide: The Intellectual
Specializing:
Now, unlike the other previously discussed gents in the Survival Guide Series, when you discover the specialty of your gorgeous grad student, it may behoove you to steer clear from doing too much recon. Being an absolute expert on his entirely specific subject is his job, day in, day out, so even the most impressive namedrop sounds like child’s play to him. Besides, he’ll get his rocks off big time from playing teacher and learnin’ ya ’bout whatever obfuscatory shit he’s into.
Cheat Sheet:
NPR: National Public Radio is a great way to get up on your current events en route to where you’re going. The quickest way to beef up your knowledge on world leaders (Ahmadinejad?) is to listen to Morning Edition on the way to work, or All Things Considered on the way back. It’s totally cheating, and it totally works.
I also strongly recommend the WNYC show, Radiolab, which explores the science of everything from Stress to Sleep to even Wagner’s Ring Cycle. Download ’em online from radiolab.org. (The creator, Jad Abumrad, just won a Genius Grant.)
Words, words, words: Beef up your vocab. If you’re used to dumbing down, for whatever reason, thesaurus up your life and relish a fancy word or two. Of course, if you use a big word incorrectly, you look worse than if you hadn’t tried. Brushing up on SAT words will, at the very least, help you understand what the hell he’s talking about.
Allusions: The previous headline was a Hamlet allusion. It’s not like knowing about Hamlet is impressive … we all read it in high school. But weaving a reference into conversation requires conversational finesse and a certain acumen, and is sure to impress. Same goes for those nice little highlights of your childhood education: make an offhand reference to Fermat’s Last Theorem or to the Edict of Nantes and you’ll give your well-read fella a total brainchub.
If you really know your stuff, nothing’s sexier than mixing the highbrow with the lowbrow. Making a dirty joke with some classic form of literature will prove to your brainy beau that you’re both smart enough to hold your own and dirty enough to get nasty. I’m a big fan of Proustian pussy jokes about sense memory.
Potential Minefields:
A few things will turn off an intellectual type hardcore:
Misspelled Texting: ru 12 yrs old or wt? Texting like a tween is a major bonerkiller. So opt for spelling out words. Honestly, does it take that long? Also, unless you’re doing it ironically, spelling “I” as “eye” or “aww” as “awe” are grounds for dismissal. Believe it or not, correct grammar and punctuation can be incredibly sexy. A well-written email could make you shine like a diamond in the rough inbox of spam.
Posing: Just because you’re dating a grad student doesn’t mean you have to start wearing glasses and black turtlenecks. He’s dating you, probably, because you’re more fun than the other girl grad students. That, or he’s already fucked them all. At any rate, you’re better off keeping it real than trying to fit into some idea of what a smart person looks like. A sign of true intelligence is being at ease with who you are. If you feel like you have to start speaking French and quoting Baudelaire over your afternoon coffee to keep up with him, you’re probably wrong, and it’ll just make both of you find each other incredibly dull.
Knowledge is limitless, so no matter how learned your guy is, there’s bound to be something he doesn’t know about. Find out what it is you specialize in and teach HIM a thing or two. If he’s a real lover of learning, he’ll be interested in finding out something new. He’s constantly immersed in his subject of study, so your take on the world outside of his lab or MacBook will be a breath of fresh air.
