Sci-Fi Spa Day

Yes, even sci-fi characters need to take rejuvenating me-days, too. We checked in at the DagoSPAh to see how our favorite fictional characters like to relax, revitalize, and unwind.

Here are the top six sci-fi spa treatments!

Dalek Detoxifying Vashta Nerada Polish

EXTERMINATING is hard work. Ever wonder how Daleks stay so shiny? These metalloid menaces start their treatments by setting death rays to “RELAX.” To achieve maximum exfoliation, the Daleks gently roll themselves into a candlelit pool containing thousands of hungry, detoxifying Vashta Nerada. Not only does each microscopic Vashta Nerada hold a certificate in Beautology from the Raxacoricofallapatorian Institute of Health and Engine Repair, but 1,000 Vashta Nerada are ten times more effective than the leading salt scrub in removing unwanted rust, dirt, or ashes of fallen prey.

Cylon Acupuncture

After a long day of stalking Battlestars or banging Gaius Baltar senseless, that glowing red spine needs some TLC. That’s why Cylons enjoy acupuncture more than any other sci-fi race. Little known fact: Each Cylon Basestar contains at least fifty dedicated acupuncture rooms, each populated by a human slave trained in the ways of alternative medicine.

Hobbit Pedicures

Gotta keep those little Hobbit feet pretty! In fact, when Hobbits aren’t going on quests, smoking pipe-weed, or dancing, they’re getting their toes done. A Hobbit pedicure differs from a normal pedicure in that an additional toe-hair conditioning treatment is applied, and the half-man foot hair delicately combed through with a dragon-toothed comb. After all, one does not simply walk into Mordor…with un-exfoliated feet.

Endorian Moon Waxing: “The Shewok”

A new beauty craze is dominating female Ewoks all across a galaxy far, far away. These trendy, furry little humanoids are getting uplifting Ewokese phrases stenciled onto their nether regions. It’s the intergalactic way to Vajazzle. Nothing says “Sexy” like the phrase “Yub Nub” painstakingly groomed onto some hot Ewok chick’s poon.

Mangalore Massages

You know what’s stressful? Working for Zorg. Yes, mercenaries, in particular, need spa days! Unfortunately, Mangalores can seldom find relaxation outside of Fhloston Paradise’s high tech massage parlors, which might explain why they’re always trying to blow stuff up.

Klingon Facials

Whether he’s wielding a bat’leth or glaring at some Romulans, Worf’s skin always looks so fresh and vibrant. How does a busy Klingon stay bright-skinned and acne-free? With a Lemon Juice and Sandpaper Facial, of course. As the treatment is rather painful, most Klingons recommend at least seven shots of Chech’tluth before starting the intense scouring process. Set phasers to silky-smooth!