Listen up, cabrones. It’s Ramón, from Guy Time, also known as the most badass, most good-looking guy on the show. You should watch it if you have not yet!!
If there’s one thing I know about the ladies, it’s that they go crazy for only two things: Justin Bieber, and a badass-looking scar. Since I think Justin Bieber is a pendejo with a girly voice, I choose the second option and display a good scar whenever possible.
Extra bonus note: The older, cougar ladies really love scars. It reminds them that you are not just a young, inexperienced boy, but a real man.
TIPS FOR BADASS SCARS
1) Choose the right situation. Look, I’m not saying that guys should cut themselves. No. Save that for the emo boys and the little bitches like Bobby. But getting injured in the right situation can only improve how cool you are. Plus, having a good story to tell about how you got the scar is very important with the ladies. Ladies love a good story. My top three favorite ways to get a new scar are paintball game, forest, and motorcycle accident. You can see my newest scar in Guy Time; that one is from a fight I got into with a wolverine in the woods. OK, the truth is it’s from when I bumped into a tree, really hard. But the first story sounds better, so it’s the one I use on the ladies. 2) Don’t cry like a little girl no matter how much it hurts. Once you have the right wound, let it bleed and don’t complain. Just smile and laugh at the pain. Sometimes the laughing makes you dizzy, which helps you to not focus on the pain. 3) Spit in it, and have other guys do that too. Spit is nature’s cure, and it’s the manliest way to take care of a new scar, because it makes it last longer. The longer the wound is open, the bigger and better the final scar will be. If it heals too fast, it’ll just look like a pinche scratch. No. Spit is good. The more the better, so if you have a chance at Guy Time, ask all your bros to spit into your scar too. 4) If it starts to smell, put some gauze on it or something. The dark side of an awesome scar is that sometimes the wound can get infected. Nobody wants an infection, so after you’ve spit on it, put some gauze on. Which leads me to my next point: 5) Never go to the doctor. You’re a guy. Guys can’t do that shit. If you get an infection, don’t go to the doctor. The best cure is to crush some Tylenol and sprinkle it into the wound. Then wait. If it still doesn’t go away, you’re better off cutting the arm off yourself than going to the doctor. Now that’s a good story.
Scars… eeeew. Oh, I mean, manly!
Charlie, good point man. I never thought about using gravel, but that’s an awesome idea!! I will have to try that next time. I can’t do Robitussin, though, it’s too addicting.
I find I get better results by mixing the tylenol with robitussin and some gravel from the parking lot.