Fortunately for you, Comediva got in touch with several celebrities and found out who they’ll be rooting for to win Oscar gold this time around:
“I pick Moneyball for Best Picture. Moneyball was a movie about sports players who were underpaid and underutilized because of the way they looked. The main character is an Asian-American kid who tried to get recruited, but the scouts overlooked him because of his race. But then he went on to break records in the NBA and graduated from Harvard University. In the process, he inspired the nation and even became a widely used prefix in the English language. Oh, wait. That wasn’t Moneyball. That’s my life — right now. LinOL. But, seriously: I should win a Lin-Oscar. I’m that Lin-good.”
Jack Nicholson
“I would love to see George Clooney and Brad Pitt tie for Best Actor. I think it would be such a classic Oscar moment to see the both of them accept the award, then finally act out on all their repressed homoerotic desires by making out with each other.”
Ron Paul
“I’m rooting for the movie that took us back to a golden age when everything was seen in black and white — and white straight males didn’t just make up most of Oscar voters, but made up most of the positions of power and influence in this great country. That’s why I’m rooting for The Help for Best Picture. That movie was about repealing The Civil Rights Act, right? Gooooo, Coded Racism Cleverly Disgused as Libertarianism! Yeah!”
Daniel Radcliffe
“I think Martin Scorsese should win Best Director for Hugo. Based on a beloved children’s novel, Hugo‘s a fantasy story about an orphan boy trying to reconnect with his deceased parents. He also builds a strong connection with an old cinematic “wizard.” SO ORIGINAL, RIGHT? I’m happy that Hugo was nominated because it wasn’t like there was another WAY-BETTER film that had the same oscar-winning formula, AM I RIGHT? After Hugo was nominated for Best Picture, I rented it and about halfway through the movie —and after about five bottles of vodka — I completely blacked out. I ended up in a dark hollow space where I no longer needed validation from the outside world. So it’s all good.”
Nicki Minaj
“I really want Gary Oldman to win Best Actor for Tinker Tailor Solider Spy. An Oscar win for him is long overdue. I mean, he ill, he real, he might got a deal. He a mothefuckin’ tinker tailor solider spy. I said, excuse me, he’s a hell of a spy. I mean my, my, my, my, he’s an espionage spy. I say, yes I did, yes I did. Please somebody tell Gary who the eff he is — oh my God. I’m so sorry. I just had a seizure. Where am I and why is there a Pope performing a sexually-charged exorcism on me?”
