Tis the season, the second season that is, of Girls. So are you a majestic Marnie, a sharp Shoshannah, a jazzy Jessa, or a happenin’ Hannah? Take the quiz to find out!
1. You’re in a coffee shop grabbing your daily fix when BAM you see the most attractive person you have ever seen in your life, sitting at a table by the window, reading The Great Gatsby. Your move:
a.) Catch his eye and smile your sexiest smile as you saunter out, while trying not to look like you’re holding in a fart. (because you totally are)
b.) Stare at him until he looks at you, then look away. As you walk out, you try and sneakily catch a whiff of his hair.
c.) Plop down in the chair across from him and try to get him to have sex with you in the bathroom. What are public restrooms in coffee shops for anyway?
d.) Walk up to him and mention that you’re not excited for Great Gatsby the movie because no cinematic experience could truly capture the voice that is Fitzgerald. You’re so clever.
2. You fall asleep on the subway and when you wake up your purse has been stolen. You:
a.) Start crying, get off at the next stop, make like a damsel in distress and get a free cab ride back to your place.
b.) Just stay on the subway until it gets to the end of the line and maybe just goes the other direction, because that’s what they do right?
c.) Get off whenever and wander back. It might take a whole day of walking, but it’s not like you have anywhere to be.
d.) Get off, go to the nearest beach and eat a piece of cake.
3. On your way to work a smelly hobo comes up to you, shoves his sign in your face and asks for money. You respond by:
a.) Giving him a dirty look and keep walking. He probably would have just used it for street drugs or something.
b.) Quietly tell him you have no money, but offer him an apple you have in your bag. Then tell him he should just start saying “please” more? That could help.
c.) Tell him to get a job and that in this economy no one has a dime to spare, so he should just shut up and do sexual favors for money like everyone else.
d.) Tell him you’re the one who should be begging, since you’re a writer and have no main source of income.
4. When diving into a pint of Chunky Monkey at the end of a harrowing workday, you’re probably wearing…
a.) An ice cream stained T-shirt that you save especially for this occasion, and of course no bra.
b.) Your favorite and most comfortable Snuggie and granny panties. That’s it.
c.) A bandeau bra, large sweatpants and a tiara. Because you are the ice cream queen.
d.) You straight up wear a bib over whatever you were wearing that day. It says, “I shizzled my dizzle” on it, because the best way to wear a bib is ironically.
5. For you “going to the gym” means:
a.) Finding a fancy gym you have never set foot into and signing up for a “trial day” just to jog on the treadmill for like, half an hour.
b.) Zumba class at the YMCA. Working out next to old ladies makes you feel fit as a fiddle, while also dancing the stress away.
c.) You’ve never been to a gym, but sometimes you use a large bottle of water ias a dumbbell and lift it over your head a bunch of times while you walk around your apartment, naked.
d.) Going to subway to get a foot long. If Jared can lose weight by eating Subway, so can you, right?
Mostly As: You’re a Marnie.
Marnie is a very loyal friend. She’s compassionate and probably appreciates art, as she worked in an art gallery. Marnie can be very spontaneous, and has drunkenly made out with a dude played by Bobby Moynihan and almost had a threesome with Jessa and that guy she married. Marnie, like all the girls on Girls, is a little bit of a mess, especially in the love life department. She needs to get over her ex and just find a rich guy to marry.
Mostly Bs: You’re a Shoshanna.
Shoshannah recently lost her virginity. She’s fresh, fashionable and extremely energetic. The best thing about being a Shoshannah? You might be deflowered, but you are NOT devalued. Shoshannah is very true to her high strung self. She’s honest a little naieve, but at the same time very wise. Oh and don’t try crack, ever.
Mostly Cs: You’re a Jessa.
Jessa is the picturesque modern free spirit. She wears what she wants and does what she wants. You’re probably the kind of person to marry the guy you almost had a threesome with a week after meeting him. If you ever babysit, make sure you keep your eye on the kids and try not to sleep with their dad. Jessa’s strong, stubborn I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR attitude is extremely admirable.
Mostly Ds: You’re a Hannah.
Hannah is passionate. She’s passionate about writing, she’s passionate about being a lost 20 something, and she’s passionate about being an individual. She once dated a guy who realized he was gay years later, but they’re roommates now, so it’s cool. She writes every day in her notebook, not to be confused with a journal or diary. Hannah lives in her own world, a world where it’s okay to be upset if your boss doesn’t want to have sex with you.
