Miss Anthropic’s Reality Check
Dear Miss Anthropic,
I always see mothers dropping off their kids at school wearing their sleep clothes. I really hate this, it drives me crazy! Is it acceptable for moms to wear their pajamas and slippers when they drop off their kids at school?
Denise
Canoga Park, CA
Dear Superficial Sally,
Why the fuck do you even care what the other mothers wear when they drop off their kids? Shouldn’t you be more concerned with getting your kids to class safe and on time? The fact that you are noticing the attire of the other moms and take it a step further by judging them for it, irritates me to no end. Maybe the other parents were busy packing their kids’ lunches and making them breakfast and will begin their day after the kids are dropped off on time. Or maybe they are just lazy, sloppy bitches who stay in their pajamas all day. Either way, it really isn’t any of your concern.
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Dear Miss Anthropic,
What do you think about parents who use a leash on their child when out in public?
Sandra
Oakland, CA
Dear On A Short Leash,
I am 100 percent for the child leash! I commend the parents who are responsible enough to use them on their little monsters, and I think they should be mandatory in some places. If I have to leash my dog, then you should have to put a leash on your disorderly little bastards. They also never cease to make me smile when I see a little brat being dragged along like a pet. Kid leashes = WIN!
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Dear Miss Anthropic,
I am really socially awkward and have a hard time talking and connecting with people. Can you give me some tips on how to bond with people in a group setting?
Julie
Oxnard, CA
Dear Wallflower,
My advice is to get extremely, shit-faced drunk. Nothing will turn a shy gal like you into a social butterfly faster than some liquid confidence. I suggest vodka and Red Bull. By the second drink you will be full of energy and feeling social. I suggest drinking at least five drinks, and make them doubles. By the end of the night, you will have made plenty of new friends by dancing on tables, making out with random strangers, and taking your clothes off. You will be the most popular girl in your circle!
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Have a question for Miss Anthropic? Please submit all queries to MissAnthropic@comediva.com or follow Miss Anthropic on Facebook and Twitter.
I love this column it is my favorite, I look forward to every one! Thanks for keeping it real!
Liquid courage would do wonders for most people. Everyone should try it. Plus, you can use your kid leash to keep track of your rugrat while downing those cocktails!
Miss Anthropic keeps it real. i’m gonna throw all that Just Say No nonsense out the window. liquid courage all the way!