I have a confession to make.
What I want — what I would really, really, like to have in my possession, is a bro. A friend. A friend to bro out with. That’s why I’m your nemesis. Because whenever I go threatening citizens, etc., you show up and then, for at least half an hour, I get to tell you all my evil plans, and we banter, and wrestle and it’s AWESOME. I just need that, you know? To hang the F out every once in a while. You ever see I Love You, Man? It’s just like that! BTW, Mark Ruffalo is great in that movie. Slappadabaaaase! Haha. Oh wait, that wasn’t Mark Ruffalo, I’m thinking of the wrong guy… agh, he’s in Hot Wet American Summer? Man, this is gonna really bother… I’m sure it’ll come to me… dammit. Anywho, we should totally watch it sometime. We’ll have to wait until my girlfriend is out of town though (she keeps me on a short leash, know what I mean?).
You think I want to rob the Capital City Heritage Museum? Heck no! I just broke in to get your attention. I’m a total Civil War buff and I can’t get Debra to go with me to check out the exhibit (she has no idea who’s buried in Grant’s tomb, if you get my drift). She just wants to go clubbing at Cityspace and get wasted. Lame and a half. But when I go barging into wherever, demanding jewels (btw, NO jewels in that museum — lousy cover, that one’s on me) you are guaranteed to show up! So it’s like a guy-date, sort of. I get to look at all my favorite stuff (they have this exhibit featuring some really cool Enfield muskets, but it’s a traveling one, so it’s gone at the end of the month) and have another dude in my presence while I do it! FTW!
I hope now that I’ve made my intentions clear, I can stop being a villain and we can just go to trivia night at Big Wang’s like real friends do. Just in case, I might “steal” something from Capital City Lanes on like… Saturday? Around 3pm? I assume you like bowling, because you’re cool and anybody who doesn’t like it can go take a long walk down a short lane, am I ri-PAUL RUDD!!! Paul Rudd is the guy in I Love You, Man. Whew. That was driving me crazy.
Later, buddy!
Your Archnemesis
Lauren and Bailee are the creator and illustrator of PMS Adventures, a hilarious superhero/action comic, only on Comediva.com. Follow Cassie, Maya and Teresa as they fight crime once a month. Yeah, PMS is a bitch, but it can be a bitch that makes you a hero. Click the comic below to check it out!
