Ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party ‘cos a Liz Lemon party is MANDATORY. So you want to get your fellow Feyminists together for a shindig. But how does one party about someone whose idea of a good time is watching TV, snacking, and going to bed with no funny business?
After extensive research, I’ve put together tips for throwing the ultimate Liz Lemon Party.
Decorations
Decorations are important. They say a lot about your manner of socializing [re: how [un]popular you were in high school]. So lather up the coco-butter — without eating it — because the stretchmarks of your subpar organizational skills need some smoothing-over.
1. Maybe a celebratory streamer of some kind, so people know what you’re partying about.
2. Fewer food stains than usual.
3. That one dirty underwear you completely forgot to stuff in the closet before the guests arrived.
Snacks
Junk food is the lifesource for all things undersexed and socially inept — also, it’s really easy to find in bulk at Costco. Also-also, it’s guaranteed to bring on the sleepies after a hardcore session of the munchies, so it’s a surefire way to get people out of your apartment before they give you the nutsies.
1. Sabor de Soledad
2. Cheese [any variety]
3. End of list.
Activities
You graduated from arts and crafting and/or rock-examining a long time ago, and nobody seems to need macaroni picture frames or half-of-an-indiscernible-thingamajig-because-you’re-really-bad-at-arts-and-crafts these days. So what’s a Feyminist to do?
1. Elliptical wine-drinking.
2. Crying.
3. Cheese.
Guests
Somehow you’re always surrounded by weirdos. And by “somehow” I mean you’re probably one, yourself. However, point being, you don’t like being pushed around in your own home, but you do put up with it. So which people are least likely to bring out the beast within and keep things mellow and/or awkward, just to your liking?
1. People who don’t need to be the centre of attention on the daily.
2. People who aren’t obsessed with inappropriate trucker hats.
3. People who don’t make you feel bad for being white.
4. People who don’t have a history of straight-up mental illness [which has nothing to do with his race].
5. People whose cluelessness and odd interests make you and everyone around super uncomfortable.
6. That one chick who likes to flash people during meetings.
7. Ambiguously aged/immortal people whose earnestness and genuineness make you feel like an awful person all the time.
8. Maybe Jack Donaghy is okay sometimes.
8b. If he brings those fancy cheeses from his secret republican league thing meeting.
