| GLEE | REALITY | |
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Artie and Brittany break up, prompting Artie to sing “Never Going Back Again” with the help of what appears to be all the guitarists in the world. A ridiculous amount of back up. | Everybody knows that high school guys only carry around guitars to get chicks. Forget about helping Artie sing through his pain, they’re more likely to see what they can do for the newly single Brittany. |
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While talking with the school newspaper, Santana denies her love for Brittany right in front of her, gabs away about boys, prom and other stupid high school girl bullsh*t. Brittany looks gorgeous and devastated, Santana looks like an asshole. | Oh no, she di’int! There would be a serious cat fight up in those halls! Of course, Santana would win, so I guess Brittany would still look gorgeous and devastated, and Santana would still look like an asshole. |
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Sue Sylvester dresses like Ziggy Stardust, introduces a little yellow journalism to the Muckraker, and generally acts like a weirdo for the entire episode. A few people make chit-chat about her decisions, but generally the folks at McKinley seem rather blasé about the whole thing. | Principal Figgins gives Sue a pink slip. Sue responds by ripping it to shreds and roundhouse kicking him in the face. That might sound more unrealistic than Glee’s version, but anyone with the guts to walk around talkin’ shit and takin’ names while wearing sparkly spandex and a mullet fuckin’ owns the place… until they get hauled off to the loony bin. |
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Rachel and Finn stake out a motel trying to catch Quinn cheating with Sam. They don’t find any evidence, and it leads Quinn to believe that Finn is cheating on her with Rachel. | Rachel and Finn stake out a motel and catch Quinn cheating with Sam. They decide to check into the hotel themselves. This one’s obvi when all those kids are so freakin’ hump-able (and I mean that in the totally non-pedophile way.) |
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April Rhodes returns to McKinley to convince Schuester to join her on Broadway in “CrossRhodes: The April Rhodes Story.” Schuester declines because, well golly, what would he tell the kids? Oh, and did I mention that she totally puts the moves on him and he hardly bats an eye! | The school would be slashing through their arts funding, and his little karaoke club would be one of the first things to go. Schuester would jump at the chance to work with her, to fuck her, to anything! A hot blonde with a job offer is not someone to brush off. |
That last one kinda puts it in perspective. Thank God Glee isn’t based on reality or, indeed, there would be no Glee. But since Hollywood’s budget is bigger than the average high school’s, the show must go on! Until it gets canceled, I say let the bitching and kabitzing carry on!
Gleeks, give us your two cents — were there any unbelievable moments that I missed?
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