Yeah, we’re like Charlie Sheen, we collect goddesses, except we want to have our goddesses’ babies.
Welcome to our weekly Giggle Goddess question and answer session with a comediva out in the world spreading giggles like wildfire. This week, we bring you the fabulous Vanessa Mizzone. This Q & A will take you deep within the depths of her soul… sorta.
Follow Vanessa on Twitter @VanessaMizzone.
What’s your favourite cupcake flavor?
Oooh, coconut frosting with vanilla cake. Or chocolate something… or pumpkin cake with maple frosting. I am pregnant, so really this isn’t a fair question.
What or whom inspired you to pursue a career in comedy?
I was definitely inspired by Lucille Ball the most. I had a little TV in my room when I was growing up and before I would go to bed I would watch Cheers, I Love Lucy, and then The Honeymooners. I loved old school physical comedy, so I guess because I watched these every night while falling asleep it seeped into me through osmosis. See what can happen if you let your kids have a TV in their rooms?
But I always had a knack for comedic timing, I believe, which was strengthened through training in high school theatre classes and then at UPenn, where I majored in theatre. My college roommates were also big inspirations because at the end of a crazy party night, we would gather in my room and they would ask me to entertain them. So, I would put on some weird get up that involved a huge bra, wig, and a drum of course, and sing and dance to the soundtrack of “Puff The Magic Dragon.” I would play the dragon, obviously.
Then when I got out of school, I continued to train with great comedians like Richard Black, Richard Kind, and at The Groundlings… and here I am!
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard/seen?
Ha! One of the craziest and funniest things that I have ever witnessed happened to me on a plane back in college. I was traveling with my father, a very serious judge, and we got bumped up into first class on the plane for some reason. When we sat down, there was a really hot guy that was making eyes with me across the aisle, and so we had this little eye flirtation thing happening… at least I thought we did. Anyhoo… it was a night flight, so when the cabin lights dimmed we all passed out. About an hour into the flight, I woke up, glanced over to see how my eye lover was doing and my eyes caught something big and white on my shoulder. I was a little disoriented, so there was no way it could actually be… but all of a sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know what to do, so I tapped my dad on the arm and whispered, “Dad there’s a maxi pad on my arm!” Without opening his eyes, he said, “You’re crazy,” and went back to sleep. I panicked… was it used? Why would someone do this? Was I being Punk’d? Were the flight attendants totally fucking with me? Then I saw my lover across the way start to wake up and I had to do something quick, so without thinking, I ripped the maxi pad off my arm and threw it over my shoulder into coach! I didn’t hear any yells or anything, so I assume it didn’t land on anyone’s head, so all was restored. I would have to say that was the weirdest, funniest thing I have ever experienced.
Also, anything with an animal dressed up as a human is pretty friggin’ hilarious too!
If Chuck Norris were to corner you in an alley and challenge you to a duel, what would be your weapon of choice?
My high heels. I’m from Jersey, so I have some killer heels.
What’s your best impersonation? Worst?
My best impersonation is my Aunt Marylin, but in regards to celebrities, I would say Rachael Ray. My worst would be impersonating Heidi Klum.
What are some challenges you’ve faced since going down the comedy track? What are some things that have made all of those obstacles worth overcoming?
One of the hardest things is that my comedy tends to be more physical and old school a la Lucy and Carol Burnett, and in this day and age of The Office style of comedy, my funny doesn’t fly for some people. I have actually heard people say you are too Carol Burnett, which can be frustrating cause what is so bad about that? She is amazingly brilliant and had a hell of a career. What I had to remember is to stay true to my funny and do it the way I believe is best. So critiques like that pushed me to do my own show last year called ALL YOU CAN EAT! The Vanessa Mizzone Comedy Buffet, which was a huge stepping stone and achievement for me because I stayed true to myself and because of that, it was extremely successful.
Which comedienne, dead or alive, would you love to work with/meet?
Lucille Ball, of course, but nowadays I would love to meet Lily Tomlin and work with her. What the hell is she up to these days?
In what ways do you think you’ve improved or evolved since your first comedy venture?
I am more willing to take chances now because I have more confidence.
What long-term/short-term goals do you have for your career?
I just want to continue to push myself to perform regularly and continue producing material, while I’m learning to be a mom. There’s that balance act as a female performer that men really don’t have to worry about in the same way. I just want to be able to do both well and get back into my jeans sometime again in 2011.
Do you have a specific audience to whom you play/would like to play? Describe that audience, and why/how you’re playing to them.
Any audience that has drinks in their hands. Lewis Black taught me to never do comedy unless alcohol is being served. It is true, people are just more open to laughing in that kind of environment, even if they aren’t drinking, although drinking heavily while I am performing helps… for both of us.
What’s your weirdest insecurity?
My third nipple… I’ll just leave it at that.
Are you a Girl 1 or a Girl 2?
I am a Gemini, so I definitely have both of these girls in me, but today I am Girl 1.
Which character are you most like from The Divas ?
Lucille Ballbuster, for sure.
What’s the difference between appealing to women and appealing to men?
I try and not tailor my comedy to either gender, I just do what makes me laugh. Most importantly, I don’t like material that is too gender specific like talking about menstrual cycles or penises… it turns me off when I hear female comics talk about that kind of stuff, so personally if you stay clear of that, you can appeal to both genders. The same goes for male comics too… you don’t have to be crude to be funny.
What’s your favorite comedy movie of all time?
The Money Pit with Tom Hanks and Shelley Long and All of Me with Lily Tomlin and Steve Martin… hilarious!
When you’re not writing/performing comedy, you’re…
Working as a teacher, inspiring college kids to be as weird as I am.
The title of your autobiography?
Vanessa Mizzone: The Giddy Guinea from Dirty Jersey
***
http://vimeo.com/27357359
