Yeah, we’re like Charlie Sheen, we collect goddesses, except we want to have our goddesses’ babies.
Welcome to our weekly Giggle Goddess question and answer session with a comediva out in the world spreading giggles like wildfire. This week, we present you with the fantastically funny Dorothy Blyskal. This Q & A will take you deep within the depths of her soul… sorta.
Follow Dorothy on Twitter @odetomyberries.
What’s your favourite cupcake flavor?
I thought you were going to ask me what my fave flavor of Jessica Simpson body spray was…cause then I’d say “Cupcake.” Oh man, now I’m confused.
What or whom inspired you to pursue a career in comedy?
I’d like to say Lucille Ball, but will that make it sound like I grew up in the 50s? I mean I didn’t literally grow up then, but I might as well have. That woman is a goddess. Then, as I got older it was Gilda Radner, followed swiftly by Cheri Oteri, and these days, Kristen Wiig. So as you can see, I’ve been “growing up” since the 50s, and I’m still in my 20s. There’s some math for ya.
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard/seen?
I remember a time where my answer to that was the movie “American Pie.” Now I would say it’s the previous sentence.
If Chuck Norris were to corner you in an alley and challenge you to a duel, what would be your weapon of choice?
A crimping iron. His hair is probably his Achilles heel. After all, it’s luscious, and beautiful. I’d love to Stephanie Tanner the shit out of that man.
What are some challenges you’ve faced since going down the comedy track? What are some things that have made all of those obstacles worth overcoming?
I remember faking my way into an audition for the Conservatory Program at Second City, and practically peeing in my pants just BEING in that building. I got in, but when I had to re-audition, they kicked me out. It was one of those moments you see in the movies (usually swiftly followed by a montage) where I literally said to myself, “Well… I’m still gonna do it. I’m just… not gonna do it like everyone else.” I was talking about comedy. Not sex. ‘Cause I definitely don’t do much of the latter.
Which comedienne, dead or alive, would you love to work with/meet?
I’m gonna go cliche on this one: Gandhi. Juuust kidding! She’s so overrated. Anyway, I’d say Kristen Wiig. I remember when I first saw her on SNL and was immediately like “SHE’S A GENIUS.” In all caps like that. But with my voice. I was alone in a room, so… it wasn’t weird.
In what ways do you think you’ve improved or evolved since your first comedy venture?
I’ve always been fairly confident, but I’d say even more these days. I find that the funniest people I know and work with are funny because they KNOW they’re funny. And not in a bitchy Norm MacDonald way. In a legit, confident, committed way. More like Zach Galifianakis. Or however it’s spelled.
What long-term/short-term goals do you have for your career?
Honestly, and I know this is SO trite, but… I just wanna do comedy and get paid for it. I mean, talk about the American Dream. My ultimate dream would be to have my own sitcom Tina Fey-style, but I’m not setting my sights there just yet. One day at a frickin’ time, people!
If you were a politician, for what scandal would you most likely be notorious?
Getting caught making out with Joe Biden in the Oval Office broom closet. He’s pretty dumb, and that’s how I like my men.
What’s your weirdest insecurity?
I’m gonna pull an Olivia Newton John and get physical: my arms. These puppies don’t ever come out to play. I don’t care if I’m in Bangkok in the summer, I will never EVER wear a tank top, or even a short-sleeved shirt that exposes my arms too much. Yeah. I’m THAT girl.
Three things you can’t live without?
Comedy, Diet Coke and Zac Efron.
Which character are you most like from “The Divas”?
Definitely Shirley Wench. ‘Nuff said.
What’s the difference between appealing to women and appealing to men?
In terms of comedy? Oh, simple: To appeal to women comedically, you supposedly just have to talk about how dumb men are. To appeal to men comedically, you liberally use the words “c*ck,” “t*ts,” and “c*nts.” As in “Women who don’t put a c*ck between their t*ts are just c*nts.” Nailed it.
What’s your favorite comedy movie of all-time?
American Pie. Get it? That’s called a “call-back.” You’re welcome. Anyway, for realsies, I’d probably say Waiting for Guffman.
When you’re not writing/performing comedy, you’re…
Doing my actual job. Which sucks. So. Thanks for adding salt to the wound.
The title of your autobiography?
I’m wavering between “Full But Still Eating: The Dorothy Blyskal Story” and “I Hate.” I could use some opinions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEDs0eJLDjA
More mentions of Zac Efron must be made!!!!!