1. Time Magazine
Source: Time.comTime Magazine just announced their candidates for Time‘s Person of the Year.
Hermanas, I am pissed off that this year’s list includes celebrities like Kim Kardashian. ¿Deveras? You’re telling me that Kim Kardashian’s ass is potentially more influential than Nobel Peace Prize Winner Leymah Gbowee?
¡Ya me enfade, gente! I say we boycott Time Magazine and their blatant pandering to the junk in Kim Kardashian’s trunk!
Boycott:
Anything reminiscent of Time Magazine, como:
– Extreme close-up fotos that make it easy to count the nose hairs on world leaders.
– Headlines that keep you in constant fear, como: “Can You Still Move Up in America?” “The Decline and Fall of Europe” “Is The China Bubble Gonna Burst?” “Are Trees Stalking Humanity? (Think About It. They’re Everywhere),” “Is the GEICO Gecko the New Face of Terrorism?” and “Is the Second Black Guy On Fox’s New Girl Going to Be Replaced By a Third, Hotter Black Guy?”
– Articles written by Fareed Zakaria that tell you that China is going to kick America’s nalgas, stop inviting America to all the cool fiestas, steal our hot girlfriend Canada, and when we’re not looking, tape a sign to our backs that says: “I’m Gay and I’m In Decline.”
2. Hollywoodlandia
Source: NerdApproved.comGeorge Lucas said that his upcoming película about the African-American fighter pilots who battled Nazis during WWII is not going to address the discrimination that those pilotos faced.
Mira, Hollywoodlandia: we put up with you ignoring the history of racial discriminación in movies like X-Men and Captain America, pero we’re not gonna put up with you doing the same in a movie about WWII — THE MOST FAMOUS GUERRA ABOUT RACISM IN HISTORY.
Boycott:
Anything representative of the typical Hollywood película, como:
– When running away from peligro, having your carro suddenly run out of gas so that you’re forced to hit your dashboard and shout: “Oh come on! Not now!”
– Experiencing a plot twist two-thirds of the way though your día that forces you to run frantically through an airport and/or major U.S. ciudad.
– Throwing someone’s cell phone into the ocean or out of a ventana without experiencing any serious repercussions for just destroying someone’s valuable propiedad.
3. The Zoo
Source: Regeneratormag.comAfter the Toronto Zoo decided to separate two gay penguins, people demanded that they be kept together. The zoo promised that the penguins would be reunited — but only after they were forced to mate with female pingüinos first.
No lo puedo creer, hermanas. Forced heterosexual penguin sex in this day and age? It’s disgusting, horrendous, and vergonzoso.
Boycott:
To help right the wrongs of this failed institución, boycott all zoológicos and any place where uncivilized and dangerous predators roam free without fear of the rule of law, como:
– San Diego Zoo
– The Bronx Zoo
– The Philadelphia Zoo
– The Colombus Zoo
– Pennsylvania State University
