Shirtless men who will move your belongings from one place to another? Sounds like a great idea, right? Take another look. Lower, lower – yes, lower than that … that’s right, improper footwear! What kind of an example are these hunks setting for our nation’s children? If you’re moving heavy furniture, you should be wearing steel-toed boots and perhaps a back harness. Come on, guys! Amateur hour is over. I give these hunks a 10 out of 10 for shirtlessness, an 8 out of 10 for attitude, but a 3 out of 10 for safety. They also get a dateability bonus of two points for having jobs and transportation (some girls are into that, I guess).
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Wow, hunks have really changed over time! I give this hunk a 4 out of 10 for brawniness, an 11 out of 10 for attitude, and a dateability bonus of one point for being able to share clothes. That’s always a plus. Also, if you think I’m swaying the results by putting a transvestite’s picture here, I can assure you that pages two through 14 of the image search results for “hunk” were taken by the above photographer and featured men in gowns.
Oh, and this.
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If the first thing you thought of when you saw this photo was the Death Star’s trash compactor, this may be the hunk for you. He may also be the one for you if you thought, “I’m lichen this hunk!” This hunk gets 10 out of 10 for attitude but 1 out of 10 for ability to survive in nature. Minus one point for making me think of James Franco mutilating himself.
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No funny comments here. This is 100 percent hunk. He gets 10 out of 10 for brawniness, setting and facial expression. Minus one point for the photographer’s slightly off background horizon. Hey, nobody’s perfect.
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Love the juxtaposition of raw masculinity to candy, a little girl’s pink scooter and a grandmotherly couch.
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Oh, ha ha – Anne Frank. Yeah, that’s so funny, guys. You know what’s less funny than making jokes about tragic deaths? How about in-jokes you don’t even share? Ten out of 10 for being a big jerk and making me feel bad.
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You know what? I guess I’ve dated guys with piercings before once, but this whole “plugs” trend just freaks me out. I mean, think about what your lobes are going to look like when you’re 60-years-old before you start making giant holes in them! Ten out of 10 for hirsutism, 2 out of 10 for not planning to look good at retirement. Two bonus points for the slight fear in this hunk’s eyes at a signature that looks to be crawling right at him.
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Eight out of 10 for brooding on a rock as hard as his arm muscles (though, he could be on a Bluetooth – hard to tell), 10 out of 10 for the ripped back, and ? out of 10 for looks. After all, have you seen Carrot Top lately? He’s cut now; imagine checking out his ripped back at the gym and then watching him turn around to reveal that Donnie Darko bunny face. This guy could have a face tattoo, or an eye on his forehead for all we know … or nose hair.
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You’re never too old to appreciate a good hunk. Am I right, ladies? I bet these broads don’t even eat vegetables.
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In case you were wondering about what results you’d find using hunk synonyms, I did an experiment and looked up “dreamboat.” The results included considerably more inanimate object, such as 80s heartthrob watches, and far fewer transvestites. I also found a picture of Peter Lawford, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr., and Dean Martin all at Will Smith’s wedding. Time travel? You tell me.
If you enjoyed this article, and are desperate for more hunks, may I suggest Flickr’s recommended group, “Hairy Muscular Men”?
Photos: DoNotLick, Michi Moore, Dan4th, mateoutah, Dan Harrelson, jonfeinstein, Yassin Hassan, falardeau, One from RM
every pic lol hahahaha good one!