If movie studios can make the board game Battleship into a film (starring Rihanna, no less), why can’t some of our go-to morning munchies be adapted into high-grossing films?
Here are the top ten delicious intellectual properties we’d like to see made into movies:
Count Chocula
Genre: Teen Vampire Romance
Premise: Undead teenager Count Chocula must decide between the affections of a doting, innocent human ingénue and the loins of a seductive, dangerous vampire mistress. Will Count Chocula choose short-lived love or lust everlasting?
Shredded Wheat
Genre: Slasher
Premise: Six teenagers get lost in Nebraska on their way to spring break. They find themselves trapped on an abandoned wheat farm, brutally “harvested” one-by-one by an insane rancher who calls himself ‘Shreddy McSlayerson.’
Cap’n Crunch
Genre: Spy Thriller
Premise: The recent economic crunch has rendered former mogul Cap’n Crunch penniless and miserable. To make ends meet, Cap’n agrees to go undercover with the CIA as a pirate on the high seas. Will Cap’n follow orders or will he become a double agent, seeking the spoils of privateering for himself?
Rice Krispies
Genre: Dance Film
Premise: Snap, Crackle, and Pop know how to dance, groove, and boogie like nobody’s business. But when the parking lot where they bust their moves is about to be turned into a playground for the underprivileged, they attempt to halt construction the only way they know how: by crunkin’ to mad beats.
Lucky Charms
Genre: Drama
Premise: Lucky, a young Irish immigrant, endures racism and poverty in Depression Era America. He steals a ring and proposes to the love of his life only days before she dies from consumption. While Lucky struggles to overcome heartbreak, he develops a severe case of kleptomania that might cost him his freedom — and his life.
Honeycomb
Genre: Science Fiction
Premise: In the distant future, scientists discover a hexagonally shaped planet capable of supporting human life. Moments after a team of astronauts and scientists set foot on Planet Honeycomb, horror strikes. Planet Honeycomb’s atmosphere will support human life — but its inhabitants will not.
Weetabix
Genre: British Horror Comedy
Premise: Three Cockney teens are locked in a grocery store during a freak werewolf invasion. Armed only with Weetabix, snooker cues, and their dry British wit, they struggle to defend themselves against the snarling, gruesome onslaught.
Trix
Genre: Animated Mumblecore
Premise: Trix Rabbit sits on the floor of his studio apartment, sipping cheap bourbon, and recounting memories of his youth to a motor-mouthed prostitute named Trixie. As Trix Rabbit sobers up, he begins to wonder if Trixie is actually nothing more than his own distorted reflection in the mirror.
Fruit Loops
Genre: Stoner Flick
Premise: After a night of hard-partying, a group of friends who call themselves “The Fruit Loops” wake up to realize that one of their buddies and all of their weed is missing. As they track down their friend and their sticky-icky supply, the gang experiences flashbacks of the bizarre night before.
Bonus Film!
Nut ‘n Honey
Premise: Nut’s a goofball. Honey’s all business. These two detectives couldn’t be more different. What happens when the boss assigns them as partners? All heck breaks loose in this zany comedy about crime-fighting, friendship, and overcoming adversity.
Which breakfast cereal would you like to see realized on the silver screen?
Photoshoppin’ by Emily McGregor & Erika Cervantes
[Editor’s Note: Trix Rabbit by Rob Sheridan]
