7 Reasons Justin Bieber’s an Alien

2. Nature of Bieber’s Facial Features
Suspiciously enough, the Biebs’ perfect complexion has yet to yield one acne blemish.  Anyone who has seen Never Say Never 3D (everyone) knows that JB has an affinity for fast food, and lives the majority of his life in a stuffy tour bus.  This type of lifestyle would lead to severe acne woes in any human teenager, but Bieber’s alien blood maintains his silky smooth complexion at all times.

JB’s large, dreamy eyes are a more apparent extraterrestrial characteristic.  We all know that aliens use their super-sized eyes as a means of gaining control of non-alien minds.  Which leads us to our next point…

3. Bieber Controls the Masses
JB’s stardom was born out of YouTube videos and he quickly grew in popularity through the Internet.  Some call him a product of the modern world.  I call it alien activity.

Clearly, Bieber and his team have infiltrated the World Wide Web, utilizing their advanced alien technology to control our minds through our computers.  Eventually, Bieber’s mind control tactics will escalate into total world domination and we’ll all be wearing purple uniforms and logging on to .swag website domains.  But we’re all too mesmerized to realize this.  That’s why they call us Beliebers.
      Bieber in his space jacket.
4. Bieber’s Handedness
Justin Bieber is left-handed.  Duh, alien.

5. Bieber’s Eating Habits
Justin Bieber’s favorite food is Spaghetti Bolognese.  It is common knowledge that aliens can’t resist Spaghetti Bolognese.

6. Bieber’s Suspicious Use of Sign Language
JB has used the heart symbol as “sign language” to gain the trust of tweenage girls all around the world.  His alien mastermind has manipulated the innocence of this shape into a sign of fan loyalty at concerts, and the heart shape will eventually evolve into a symbol of cooperation under Bieber’s totalitarian regime.

7. Bieber’s “Girlfriend”
Selena Gomez, people.  She is clearly an alien as well.  Selena shares the Biebs’ nonhuman characteristics, from her gangly little body to her giant alien head and large captivating eyes.  Bieber’s team probably realized that they had to bring in an alien mate for a maturing Bieber, so they contacted their galaxy and, voila!, we have Selena Gomez, conveniently masquerading as a Disney star turned pop singer.  Once JB takes control of our lives as the first Worldwide Alien Dictator, Ms. Gomez will be his First Alien Lady and they will breed freakishly adorable alien babies to continue their legacy.

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