Fact: Women do the majority of shopping for households in America. Another fact: There are a lot of hot men in advertising who are good at getting us excited about mundane household objects. But who’s better, the man with the idea or the guy promoting it? Sounds like a Dick Contest to us!
We’ve thought up a publicity mash-up every gal would love to give consumer feedback on: Don Draper versus The Old Spice Guy.
We know you’ve salivated over both of them whilst glued to your television set, wishing you were either in 1960s Manhattan or riding horseback on a beach. Both men are undeniably charming, their confidence and wit oozing from their pores. But is it the head of creative or the brilliant creation that reigns supreme in our highly commercialized fantasies?
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DON DRAPER
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THE OLD SPICE GUY
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| Portrayed perfectly by… |
Jon Hamm |
Isaiah Mustafa |
| Had our panties in a twist with the phrase… |
“I’m living like there’s no tomorrow, because there isn’t one.” Best justification for a second martini and a one-night stand we’ve ever heard.
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“Ladies.” We may be independent women, but damn if it ain’t still nice to be called a lady.
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| Bribes you with… |
A voracious cycle of sex, booze, cigarettes, and more sex. |
Diamonds and tickets to that thing you like.
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| Usually wears… |
A bespoke suit that proves every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed man.
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Linen capris, a sweater tied around his shoulders, and a bare chest we can’t look away from.
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| Sick ride |
Classic style Buick or Cadillac. Makes us kind of miss the days before seat-belts, when a guy could feel you up the whole way home.
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White stallion, does it get any sexier? A true sign of sensual intelligence, ladies.
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| Airbrushed-over flaw? |
Other than being a womanizer, borderline alcoholic, and an emotional juvenile, not much. Oh, and an identity thief, don’t forget that part.
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He’s talking to all the ladies in TV land. Not just you. Sigh.
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Men, we’re mad about both of you. However, there’s a late entrant to this contest. Literally late, as in slightly old. But with age comes wisdom, and a man who could put both Draper and Spicy in their place. Come to think of it, he’s not really late, we’re just early, for he is “The Most Interesting Man in the World.”
The man who once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels and whose blood smells like cologne. Nope, we just can’t resist a man who speaks fluent French in Russian or a man who’d show his feminine side … if he had one.
Is there an ad-man you’d like to bring home? Let us know in the comments below!
Old Spice guy would probably never slap you. Then again, when Draper does it, it’s unnervingly hot. Mmmm. Dos Equis man though, he just old.
the man your man could smell like, all the way. sorry, don draper. how about we just get Old Spice Guy a martini?