Last summer, Representative Lisa Brown was banned from speaking on the house floor for using a bad word: the V-Word; you know that word.
Members of the house have taken this a step further by drafting a bill that forbids the use of the V-Word as follows:
1. No V-Word during menstruation or “the time of the month”
2. No V-word during labor or “child birth”
3. Doctors must limit V-Word usage to once per visit
4. Nurses must limit V-Word usage to once per day
5. Professors and teachers must limit V-Word usage to once a year per classroom
No V-Word while at work (unless you fit the categories above)
6. No V-Word within 1 mile of a church or holy place
7. No V-Word while speaking in large groups
8. No V-Word in spaces with more than two men
9. No V- Word in spaces with more than two women
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvxmfjS1g9Q” /]
10. No V-Word in spaces occupied by persons under 35
11. No V-Word before 7 am
12. No V-Word while in restaurants
13. No V-Word while at brunch
14. No v- word while drinking tea
15. No v- word while driving
16. No v- word while at home
17. Eve Ensler may never use the v- word
Congress members are also working diligently to have the word removed completely from the English language. However, they have yet to decide on a word or phrase they would like to take its place. Suggested replacements for the v- word are “lady thing,” “the space between,” “my parts,” “woohoo,” “baby giver” or just a general downward nod. The bill is expected to be voted on in the next few weeks.
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