We’ve all been on the receiving end of a high school Sex Ed lecture — but any girl who’s been on the receiving end of some, shall we say, “hands on” learning in college will tell you that teacher got a few things wrong. Here are seven health class lessons that needed a little revising.
1. Abstinence until marriage is the best course of action for your sexual and emotional health.
Maybe for some people, but following the advice of a fucking high school teacher (as opposed to the advice of oh, say, a doctor) is the worst course of action for your sexual and emotional health. Get informed, get your own opinions, get tested, and get busy.
2. Using a banana as a stand-in is a great way to practice how to properly use a condom.
It can also be a great way to set yourself up for some serious disappointment. The average length of a banana is nine inches, while the average length of a penis is six inches.
3. It’s impossible to tell if a person has an STD just by looking at them.
True, unless that STD is herpes. That shit loves to announce itself.
4. You are most likely to get pregnant if you’re relying on the “pull out” method.
Actually, you are mostly likely to get pregnant if he’s too drunk to remember that you’re relying on the pull out method.
5. You are most vulnerable to STDs when you’re on your period.
There are guys who’ll bone you while you’re on your period?
6. There are many alternative methods of birth control (such as the calendar method, the cervical mucus method, and the temperature method) that may be of interest to you.
Unless you own stock in the company behind Plan B, these methods should NEVER be of interest to you.
7. The best way to resist sexual pressure is to just say, “no.”
Depending on the guy, you may need to up that resistance. A self-defense class and a little pepper spray never hurt anybody. (Edit: If used correctly, they can hurt would-be rapists.)
Many a lady has been led astray by bad sex advice — what are some sex myths you’ve heard (and later had dispelled)?
