Noooooo. That would be silly.
Or at least that’s what I thought before the Center for Disease Control posted their Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse guide. Yes, you read that right, the freaking CDC has a guide for surviving the zombie apocalypse!!!
This just got serious people.
The CDC advises you to have an emergency preparedness kit, for the inevitable day when the zombies come. Per the Zombie 101 Guide, a good kit includes:
—Water (1 gallon per person per day)
—Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
—Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
—Tools and Supplies Sanitation and Hygiene Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
—Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
—First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)
They also advise you to plan out evacuation routes and meet-up locations with loved ones (one close to home and one further afield in case you can’t get back to the house) and ….
Wait a minute.
This sounds an awful lot like the stuff the CDC recommends for regular old, run of the mill emergencies like hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes and stuff. In fact, they even mention those in the Zombie Preparedness Guide…
“ In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder ‘How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?’ Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!”
I do believe I’ve been fooled into having an educational experience!!
Apparently, I’m not alone either. The CDC’s cute little “Zombie” guide has gotten more hits than anything they’ve ever posted on their website. In fact, it’s crashed their servers a couple of times. You’d think all the pictures of mile wide tornado funnels and massive floods that have been floating past on the news the last few weeks would inspire people to check out their disaster prep methods but that would assume that Americans read/watch/listen to the news. You really want people to learn how to prepare for a disaster? Mention the possibility of zombies.
Sadly, I am living in a glass house on this particular issue, so there will be no stone throwing here. I will freely confess to having not read a disaster prep manual like this since I was in college and being totally unprepared should a disaster strike. But throw out a headline like, “CDC Prepares for Zombie Apocalypse,” however, and I’m totally onboard. I might even go home and refresh my disaster kit!
Who would have thought the freakin’ CDC would be responsible for one of the cleverest internet ploys ever? Hopefully, all the attention they’re getting will save a few lives by inspiring some people to get prepared for real natural disasters… as well as the walking dead.
Because you know they’re coming, you guys. And they definitely want to eat our brains!
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I’m pretty sure that if there were zombies taking over the planet, I wouldn’t be needing forms of identification other than being able to identify myself as not being a zombie.
Wow, I wasn’t scared of a zombie apocalypse before, but um, yeah… I should get prepared! Should I include garlic and a wooden stake in the kit? Oh, wait, that’s vampires. Oh wait, there’s no way to kill zombies. Oh wait, we’re all going to die.