Now, we’re not talking about the bro who ditched you at senior prom and made out with your best friend in the bathroom. That’s just being a douche. We want pure evil, men who murder on a whim, torture for fun, and would even back-stab their own mother *shudder.* Who could possibly live up to these sadistic standards? Only two of the most notorious villains in all of geekdom: Darth Vader and Lord Voldemort. The power of the force versus the potent spells of the dark arts, now this is a deathly duel sure to strike fear in the hearts of muggles and Wookies alike.
Vader versus Voldemort.
DARTH VADER |
LORD VOLDEMORT |
|
Born As | Anakin Skywalker | Tom Marvolo Riddle |
Other Titles | Dark Lord of the Sith | He Who Must Not Be Named |
Weapon of Choice | Lightsaber | The Elder Wand |
Nemesis | Jedi in particular piss him off. | Harry Potter, aka the Boy Who Lived |
Hottest Battle Scar | OK, it’s not technically a scar, more like a permanent scar-cover, but there’s something downright sexy about Vader’s armored life-support suit. Fully equipped with cape, of course. |
His nose, or lack thereof. |
Best Ruthless Slaughter | Operation Knightfall, where he executed every Jedi in sight, even the younglings. No, not the younglings! | His failed attempt to kill infant Harry, where he took Lily and James as collateral damage. Come on, the guy was set on murdering a baby and killed his parents for protecting him. That’s just cruel. |
Weakness | Soft spot for his offspring. Could have had an entire empire, but nooo, couldn’t resist saving his spawn. | His Horcrux hobby. Seriously Tom, you should have stopped fiddling with those suckers. |
Saving Grace | Same soft spot for offspring. In the process of saving Luke, he not only killed Emperor Palpatine, but restored balance to the Force and fulfilled his destiny. Damn it, he went back to the light side … traitor. | None. He can’t love, he’s used the three unforgivable curses more than any other wizard in history, and to top it off, he split his soul into seven pieces. You ever seen a soul put back together? We didn’t think so. |
Now, that’s the kind of vile tyranny that will get a girl to turn to the dark side.
Let us know who you would forsake your entire moral fiber for in the comments below!
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Hmm Aurelia29Vincent sounds a lot like the spam my website gets. Appropriate, as spam is the dark side of the internet. This, btw, was one of my fav dick contests yet! Though it does make you think of what an actual dick contest between the two would be like, which I’m guessing would be a very pale and disfigured contest (perhaps Voldemort’s dick is like his nose… EW!)
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