Are you prepared for when North Korea inevitably nukes you to petrified smithereens? Now last week I asked you this question and supplied you with several terrific recipes to enjoy from inside your bunker, such as canned soup, canned beans with canned tuna, and your favorite, Saltines with peanut butter. And canned water. And cans. Just generally, cans. Canned cans. Apocalyptic cans of can.
What splendid DIY fun! Now, for all you survivalists and preppers out there, here is installment 2 for your fallout shelter pleasure! GAMES!
Here are some fun games you can play to stave off nuclear winter-induced psychosis! You’re gonna love these.
Game 1: “Find the Dot!”
This here’s a theater game, but it will do nicely to manage hallucinations and acute anxiety caused by solitary confinement. Draw a spot at about eye-level on the wall. Stand across the room from the spot you’ve drawn. Close your eyes. Walk toward the wall with your arm extended and your palm flat (as if you’re saying “Stop in the name of love” or “Stop! Don’t detonate!”) Walk toward the spot with your eyes closed. See if you can sense the wall and the spot and hit it with your hand. Open your eyes to see if you were right. You probably weren’t. Practice this endlessly. If you have a friend or roommate with you, impress this person as you progressively suck less, and then creepily excel, at this game. You will get better. Time is on your side.
Game 2: “Wish I May, Wish I Might.”
This game is a little more introspective. It’s a good one for just before bed at, what you perceive to be, nighttime. The rules are simple. Take turns saying things you wish you’d gotten a chance to do before the planet “unexpectedly” expired at the hands of Kim Jong-un. I personally would have liked to see Greece. And so it goes.
Game 3: “Place blame!”
This game is the nuclear war version of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”. It will dazzle grown-ups and kids alike as you wait out the End of Days together entombed with all your canned food. See if you can find the link between the detonation of an inter-continental ballistic missile and your own goddamned fault. In other words, find the way in which you personally have played into the end of the world. I bet you did something to make the world hate America!
Game 4: “Old Gossip.”
If you and your cabin mate or family member go way back, drudge up some old gossip that used to be interesting. See if, by the forces of nostalgia and renewed perspective, it is interesting again. Who can come up with the oldest gossip?! Keep it competitive and fun. It’s just a game. Plus the world is ending, so try not to have too much ego about it. Lol. Most importantly: have fun!
And remember: you can always swallow saliva to trick yourself into feeling hydrated. Also, pee is sterile, but everybody knows that. Good night and good luck!
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Check out Nuclear Attack Recipes and if you’re worried about the Zombie apocalypse, learn how to decorate your Z-Poc Shelter!
