Sometimes, it can be difficult to recognize the signs of becoming a zombie, and the next thing you know you’re rabidly running down the streets, and you’ve eaten all of your friends. We’re going to directly lay out the signs so you can stop locking yourself in on Saturday nights because you never know, it might just be PMS (in a good way)!
Source: Geeksaresexy.net
2. Are you starting to smell despite the ridiculously overpriced body scrub from Origins that you’ve been using? Is your skin developing olive undertones regardless of the fact that you have no Italian heritage in your family history? Have you let your hair get greasy even though dreadlocks went out with the ’90s? There is a slight chance that you may simply be the lead singer of the Counting Crows, but statistically those odds are pretty low. You’re most likely a zombie! Quarantine yourself immediately.
3. Are you feeling mindless and numb? Does it seem like there’s nothing going on in your head and you’re unable to fully take in your surrounding atmosphere? Have you been watching Judge Judy episodes for the past three hours and thoughtlessly shoving various objects into your ravenous mouth? While it may seem like a zombie has taken over your mind, you’re probably just stoned! Pop in the DVD copy of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet,” and load up on some fried chicken. That’s what we do when we get high.
Source: hunterszombie.blog.com
5. Have you noticed that people are avoiding eye contact with you because your eyes have developed an awkward, red undertone? Does your husband have a look of terror whenever you kiss him good morning? Did you volunteer on your 5-year-old’s class field trip last month in order to prove that you can be a career woman AND a good mom? Although people are treating you like you are a zombie, you’re not, so relax! By the way, you have pink eye.
1. Have you been feeling ravenous lately, yet you vomit at the smell of spicy tuna? Is your body making you feel like an alien has taken over? Did you have sex with that guy from OKCupid, despite the fact that online dating isn’t for you because you’ve never had a problem meeting open-minded, attractive, and chivalrous men in their late 20s? It’s highly doubtful that you’re a zombie, you’re probably just pregnant! Congratulations, MOM!
Source: Geeksaresexy.net2. Are you starting to smell despite the ridiculously overpriced body scrub from Origins that you’ve been using? Is your skin developing olive undertones regardless of the fact that you have no Italian heritage in your family history? Have you let your hair get greasy even though dreadlocks went out with the ’90s? There is a slight chance that you may simply be the lead singer of the Counting Crows, but statistically those odds are pretty low. You’re most likely a zombie! Quarantine yourself immediately.
3. Are you feeling mindless and numb? Does it seem like there’s nothing going on in your head and you’re unable to fully take in your surrounding atmosphere? Have you been watching Judge Judy episodes for the past three hours and thoughtlessly shoving various objects into your ravenous mouth? While it may seem like a zombie has taken over your mind, you’re probably just stoned! Pop in the DVD copy of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet,” and load up on some fried chicken. That’s what we do when we get high.
Source: hunterszombie.blog.com
5. Have you noticed that people are avoiding eye contact with you because your eyes have developed an awkward, red undertone? Does your husband have a look of terror whenever you kiss him good morning? Did you volunteer on your 5-year-old’s class field trip last month in order to prove that you can be a career woman AND a good mom? Although people are treating you like you are a zombie, you’re not, so relax! By the way, you have pink eye.
Not a zombie. I WIN.