7 More Musicals Inspired By Smash

EVERYBODY: The Backstreet Boys Musical

The story of five lovelorn dweebs, best friends who vow to put “bros before hos” and stay virgins until each of the five can find a girlfriend.  But this requires a test of wills for Nick, the cutest of the five (don’t deny it), who falls in love early on.  He promises to never break her heart, but their relationship hits a speed bump when she wants to go all the way, a crisis that leads to a mashup of “All I Have to Give” (Nick and his lady) and “Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely” (the other four).

Highlights: A hard-rock version of “Quit Playin’ Games (With My Heart)” as the boys fall in love with a revolving door of girls who are oh-so-wrong for them.  Closing number “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” is called “triumphant” and “a song for the ages” by early reviewers.

AXE ME AGAIN: The Ke$ha Musical

Very, very loosely inspired by the story of Lorena Bobbitt, “AXE” follows a young woman who cuts off her husband’s junk and goes on the run.  Knowing that she’s unable to resist the urge to party and get crunk, a young, innocent detective named Stephen (played by Glee‘s Darren Criss) goes undercover as a stripper to find her.  The two play cat-and-mouse at a myriad of clubs and rich dudes’ parties before realizing that they’re in love to the tune of “Dancing With Tears in My Eyes.”  Will he bring her in, or will they escape together?

Highlights: In homage to Ke$ha’s recent tour, during the opening number, “Cannibal,” a random male audience member will be pulled up onstage and duct-taped to a chair.  He’ll remain constrained for the duration of the show, and will be dragged around as a prop.  Also, in the closing number of Act I, “Grow a Pear,” all of the ensemble are dressed as either drag queens or penises.

TO THE SEA: The Jack Johnson Musical

A musical that could only be born from Broadway producers smoking weed at a bonfire on the beach.  A story of a couple broken apart when she floats away on the ocean, told through flashbacks and flashfowards accented by a fog machine, “To The Sea” is experimental theater at its weirdest.  Audience members leave unsure of the answers to two questions: “Was it all a dream?” and “Did the world really need hard rock covers of songs from the Curious George soundtrack?”

Highlights: An electric-guitar heavy, opening number “Bubbletoes,” and sappy duet “Banana Pancakes.”

YOU’RE GOING TO CRY YOUR EYES OUT: The Adele Musical

After a woman is left at the altar by the man she thought was the love of her life, she daydreams the perfect life they could have had together–where they could have had it all, if you will, and she tries to get him back. But the daydream begins to consume her, and she’s not sure where the dream ends and life begins as he dumps her over and over. Finally, with the help of a number of imaginary friends she met in the dream, she begins to discover her own self worth, and that she’s capable of standing on her own, and the dream dissolves away. She’s left singing “Set Fire To The Rain,” alone onstage, in a solo spotlight, as a single tear rolls down her face, and lots of them roll down yours.

Highlights: Seriously, bring tissues.

NEVER SAY NEVER: The Justin Bieber Musical

Yes, we know this was already a movie.  Hear us out.  Never Say Never, the story Justin Bieber’s rise to fame, follows in the footsteps of many other movies-turned-stage-musicals, and is just phase II of Justin Bieber’s plan to “Pull a Hairspray” (AKA a The Producers).”  Phase III is remaking it again as a movie musical.  Seriously, this kid is richer than any of us will ever be.  Damn that floppy-haired cutie pie.

Highlights: A duet of “Somebody To Love” with Usher, and three separate reprises of “Baby.” Baby baby oooooooh.

THE BEGINNING: The Black-Eyed Peas Musical

More appropriately, a hip-hopera.  The Beginning, which opens with “I Gotta Feeling,” is the story of four twenty-somethings in LA who dream of being famous.  They struggle to make it big against all that life and love throws at them, particularly the female lead, who is forced to come to an important decision about whether to use her sexuality to get ahead, to the tune of “My Humps.”

Highlights: When it looks as though all hope is lost, downtempo ballad “Where Is The Love?” brings tears to the eyes, and group number “Boom Boom Pow” is full of energy.

LITTLE MONSTERS: The Lady Gaga Musical

Everyone agrees that it’s most likely about being true to oneself, but beyond that, no one’s really sure what the plot is, even the people who are in it.  On the upside, it will sweep the production design, costume, and makeup awards at the Tony’s!

Highlights: A “Telephone”/”Paparazzi” mashup in which the main character drapes herself entirely in raw steaks and walks among the rest of the cast, who are all dressed as wolves, and a curtain call to “Born This Way.”