It’s hard to believe, but just a couple decades ago, people were really racist against elves.
It was so bad that most elves tried to hide their elf heritage from the public eye. Meanwhile, in public, they portrayed themselves as humans.
Now that being an elf is more accepted, and more celebrities are coming out as elves, it’s being revealed that many of our greatest celebrity icons were secretly elves themselves.
Here are 7 icons suspected of being elves in the closet:
1. James Dean
While he still worked as a Sleigh Maintenance Elf at the North Pole, James Dean was known to slip Santa Clause extra “cookies and milk” as a trade-off for being allowed to travel with Santa on his magical sleigh all across the globe. Because of this, and because he could never choose between chocolate chip and oatmeal, Dean was often called “bi-cookious.”
2. Audrey Hepburn
During the shooting of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Hepburn would have to run to her trailer in between takes and surreptitiously gift-wrap like crazy in order to soothe her natural elfish urges. Afterwards, Hepburn would return to the set as if nothing had happened —but the trail of scotch tape and ribbons across the inside of her arms told a different story.
3. Marlon Brando
Brando’s massive weight gain in Apocalypse Now is said to have been attributed to his overindulgence of the elf’s four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and maple syrup.
4. Marilyn Monroe
Allegedly, Mrs. Santa excommunicated Monroe from the North Pole at the age of 19. She was accused of sleeping with Santa Clause on his birthday in the Ovaltine Office located in the west wing of his home, the Gingerbread House.
5. Bob Marley
His now famous song “Get Up Stand Up” is rumored to have been a veiled, subversive commentary about the mistreatment of black elves in the North Pole. And, apparently, his dreadlocks were not a counterculture style statement, but used to help cover up his large, pointy ears.
6. Paul Newman
Newman was known for spending days without sleep in the weeks preceding Christmas. During that time, Newman would often sneak around his own home in the middle of the night, decorating and re-decorating the place in ornaments, paper snowflakes, popcorn necklaces, and Christmas lights for hours on end.
In the morning, Newman’s wife would often find the famous actor lying across the living room floor, in a pool of his “Own Eggnog,” covered in tinsel, and shouting, “Why can’t I stop? Why can’t I stop? Oh, dear God, why can’t I stop?”
7. Tina Fey
It’s rumored that one of the main reasons that Tina Fey holds so much creative power over her popular TV show, 30 Rock, is so she can legally stop production every 15 minutes and indulge in one of her favorite elfish traditions: singing the obvious out loud.
“I’m singiiiiiiiiiing! I’m the executive producer of my own show and I’m singiiiiiiing…”
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