Lucille’s Kitty Korner: How to Celebrate Judgment Day With Your Cat!

The Rapture: A Bedtime Story

When you are tucking your kitty in Friday night, you can tell her the spooky and exciting story of the impending rapture!  “What’s the Rapture, Lucille?” you ask?  Well, the Rapture is what happens on Judgment Day, when Jesus returns to Earth.  The dead will rise from their graves, like a zombie movie, and then all the Christians will float up into heaven to be with God, like E.T., while everyone else will stay on Earth, which will be destroyed, like in the John Cusack film!

If you think this is too scary for bedtime, just remember, it involves flying to heaven, and that’s not scary at all:  Unicorns do it all the time!

Judgment Day Snacks

I know it sounds like a lot to take in, but as the story goes, Judgment Day’s gonna sneak up on us “like a thief in the night,” so that’s not a lot of time to prepare!  Here are some tasty treats that require no cooking… but be forewarned, they’re so delicious, they’ll go in the “twinkling of an eye”!  (That’s how fast you fly up to heaven, by the way.)

Tuna Tartare

–Buy a filet of sushi grade tuna and mince up finely.  Serve to your kitty immediately!  According to some Japanese gourmands, or as Yamama calls them, “fancy Chinamen,” this makes a nice dish with avocados for humans.  Just remember what I said on Cinco de Mayo: no avocado for the cats!  Raw meat should only be served to your cat on occasion, but it IS the end of the world…

–For dessert, a nice little sprinkle of bonito flakes will do the trick when you’re short on time.  Your kitty will gobble them down faster than it takes to sound a heavenly trumpet!

Remember, we don’t know for sure when the Second Coming’s going to happen, so when writing your Judgment Day party invites, we suggest putting that the party starts at “?’s.”  Get it? Because most end at ?, unless they’re a party thrown by Skittles and me, we have an early bedtime.

Here’s wishing you a Happy May 21… though we hope Yamama’s right — if only so we can share with you our amazing plans for the 4^th of July!

Love,

Lucille and Skittles

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