By Harlow Mathus – DirectorAs a successful director with a long career in the film industry, I’ve come across a plethora of actors all looking to become the next Meryl Streep or Robert DeNiro. Normally, when I first meet said actors, I laugh wholeheartedly in their faces. I do this not only to toughen them up, but to help them understand that their chances of becoming the next Streep or DeNiro are as probable as a cow growing wings and flying into outer space.
You may think that’s harsh, but I’ve learned in my 24 years of life that actors need to be broken down if they’re to become anything worth putting on film. How do I get these sub par actors to deliver great performances, might you ask? I teach them to act like an actor. And though I’m an incredibly busy man and award-winning filmmaker (Best Director, Orange County Firefly Film Festival, 2011), I’ve decided to impart some of my tips to you poor actor souls.
Behold! Five ways to act like you’re an actor (by Harlow Mathus – Director):
1. Wear Enough Makeup to Paint a Mural on a Skyscraper
That’s right ladies, you may think you look dashing in that Maybelline mascara and rose petal pink lipstick, but would great actresses like Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Lopez be caught dead with as little makeup as you have on? God created makeup so that directors like me would have something gorgeous to look at on the monitor. So show up to film sets with epic amounts on your face, or risk utter embarrassment.
2. Be Your Character
Don’t prance onto a shoot greeting everyone like a bumpkin from Alabama with your given name of Petunia. No one cares who you are, dears. What directors crave are actors who embody the character with every fiber of their beings. You are not Petunia, you are Xena, warrior princess, or Vivian Ward, pretty woman, or Marisa Ventura, maid in manhattan. BE your character.
3. Do Everything Better
You may think that your performance is amazing, but chances are that you’re not good enough. In fact, the chances are 98 percent that your acting pretty much sucks. Yes, I would say 99 percent of actors need to do everything better. Act better. When you’re acting angry, do it better. When you’re acting sad, do it better. Happy? Better. In love? BETTER. It’s pretty obvious.
[sz-youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLtORezv9q0″ /]
4. Always Use Tongue
Let’s talk a bit about commitment. Actors who commit are more likely to receive an Academy Award. Don’t you want an Oscar? Don’t you want to go up on stage and thank God and your dead grandmother for your Oscar? Don’t you then want your husband of five years to leave you after you’ve won that Oscar for a woman covered in tattoos? Then, you need to use tongue. Commit when acting out kissing scenes. Get that tongue in there and show the world that you’re in it to win it.
5. Praise Your Director
Look, I get it. Some actors don’t want to give directors the credit they deserve, but the truth is that you would be absolutely nothing without us. If you want to get anywhere in this business, you’ll praise your director, especially on his acting skills. Don’t just sit there, let him know how awesome you think I am. I mean, how awesome you think he is.
