By Nerd Boy
There was this story recently about this guy, Jon Finkel, who went out on this date with some writer girl. He told her he was the freakin’ World Champion at Magic: The Gathering? She 
ended up blogging about it and made fun of him. If you’re a nerd, you gotta date a nerd, otherwise, you’ll have someone trapped in your bathroom for two hours and that’s not good for anyone (don’t ask). Here are the clues you need to watch for…
1. Say, “Engage” in a haughty, deep, British accent.
If she knows Star Trek, her eyes will light up. If she doesn’t really know Star Trek but she recognizes the reference, she’ll give a small smile. If it goes right by her with no reaction at all, chances are there will be pepper spray waiting for you at the end of the night. If the second is the case, feel it out by asking her if she read anything about NASA’s last space flight. If no, pepper spray might be waiting for you at the end of the night.
2. Do Tech Support.
Fix her computer. Girls love this stuff. They’ll never make out with you, but they will always ask you over and that’s almost the same thing! Think about it, guys go to bars to meet girls. Ninety percent of them will fail. All you have to do is know a few operating systems and you get in every time. It’s simple math. Of course, this also means she’s not a geek, as a geek girl would fix her own computer. So think of it as a win, win. An experiment with no risk factors, no pepper spray.
3. The Princess Bride deception…
If you see The Princess Bride on her shelf, don’t be fooled. If it has a drop of estrogen in its system, it likes The Princess Bride. It’s therefore illogical to assume that she’s a geek based on this evidence. Other movies that will fool you: Adventures in Babysitting, 300, The Goonies, etc. These movies only mean she’s a girl. Now, if you spot The Dark Crystal or Blade Runner? You may have a winner.
4. DPS.
This is my ultimate testing system. There are degrees of geek and some may not know what DPS is (damage per second). Make a DPS joke. “Hah! Oh man that ice cream just DPS’ed my mouth.” If she asks what it is, your night is compromised! Find a way out of there! Do what must be done. This girl asked me what I was talking about? I threw my soda over her head and ran while she freaked out.
5. Stars and Halos (aka: VICTORY)
If ever, at any point, she brings up how often Star Wars books are referenced and not Star Trek books? If she ever asks you to teach her Halo? It means you’ll never have to smell pepper spray again. Ever. Hopefully.
