21 Things We Might See on the Final Season of Weeds
Which brings to mind the question of how Showtime should end this saga. In death and destruction, jail or probation? What final hijinks will Jenji Kohan and the Weeds writers throw at its audience of eight years?
Here are some possible plot points for the final season.
21. Lupita returns. Offs Nancy. No one is shocked.
20. Silas resumes his modeling career. Retires young. Stops returning his mother’s calls.
19. Andy becomes a veterinarian and winds up on a TV show.
18. Shane loses the last of his marbles. Offs Nancy. No one is shocked.
17. Nancy gives up the whole drug dealer thing and joins the cast of Dexter as a new love interest in an unexpected crossover.
16. The ghost of Peter Scottson appears, haunts the Botwin clan, until Andy studies up on exorcism to once again save the day.
15. Nancy becomes a lesbian. Again.
14. Sanjay and Clinique return. Off Nancy. No one is shocked.
13. Shane legally changes his name to “Pilar.”
12. Nancy revisits the bakery-as-drug-front, realizing that wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
11. Doug Wilson runs for president.
10. Doug Wilson becomes a porn star.
9. Jill becomes deranged. Offs Nancy. No one is shocked.
8. Guillermo returns. Offs Nancy. Nobody is shocked.
7. Abumbchuck returns; he’s dating Zoya now. They attempt to kidnap Stevie and return to Alaska.
6. The final episode is a musical with all original songs by Snoop Dogg.
5. Heylia returns. Offs Nancy. No one is shocked.
4. Nancy “finds God” and becomes a nun.
3. Aram Kashishian returns. Offs Nancy. No one is shocked.
2. Nancy gets her U-Turn tattoo removed.
1. Nancy reveals she’s a vampire. No one is shocked.
