You Must Be Joking: The Girl Scouts Are Evil?

Yes, that’s right.  The right wing, anti-choice types have chosen a bunch of little girls who like to sell delicious cookies as their newest enemy.

Why?

It all started with a pair of former Girl Scouts from Texas.  Tess and Sydney Volanski were devoted Scouts, and intended to stay that way until they discovered something shocking.  Horrifying.  Life altering.

Those cookies?  They’re made from Soylent Green… and SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

Wait.  No.  Wrong movie.  Sorry.

This is how the Volanski sisters describe their reasons for leaving the Scouts on their website:

While we recognize the many good things about the Girl Scouts, we had to ask ourselves: Will we stand for our beliefs, for the dignity of life, the sanctity of marriage, modesty, purity? Or will we remain true to the Girl Scouts? We cannot see any way to truly do both.

Urm, so, how are the Girl Scouts standing in the way of the dignity of life, the sanctity of marriage, modesty AND purity?  ‘Cause we haven’t noticed any Scouts selling anything less pure than mint chocolate (yum) and we can’t think of anything more modest than those little brown and green pleated skirt scouting outfits they sport.

According to the Volanski’s “Speak Now Girl Scouts” blog (the fact that they named it after a Taylor Swift album should comment on how well they’ve thought this through), the Scouts are polluting young girls by doing things like providing information about reproductive health and birth control, and celebrating female leaders like Margaret Mead and Hillary Clinton.

The horror.  Teaching young women to take care of their bodies and look up to successful women.  What’s next?  Orgies?

Officially, the Girl Scouts of the United States of America, or GSUSA, hold a neutral position on abortion and birth control.  But each branch has a lot of say over their own programing:

In some areas of the country, Girl Scout troops or groups may choose to hold discussions about human sexuality and may choose to collaborate with a local organization that specializes in these areas, said the GSUSA in a statement. The topic is discussed from a factual, informative point of view and does not include advocacy or promotion of any social or religious perspective.

Sounds sensible, practical and the total opposite of revolutionary.  Each troop gets to deal with the subject as they see fit, so if a parent or a Scout doesn’t want to be educated in matters of human sexuality or reproductive health, they can find another troop.  Makes sense, right?

Well, yes, but only if you care about things like making sense.  And that is a category that does not include at least two right-wing, anti-choice groups, the Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute (C-FAM) and the Family Research Council.  Both groups have jumped on the anti-Girl Scout band wagon and have taken what should have been an “eye roller” of a local news piece about two teenagers going rogue on their Girl Scout troop into national headlines.

We think the [Girl Scouts’] national leadership has been infected with a radical feminist agenda, Terry McKeegan, vice president of C-FAM, told the Daily Beast.

 

Wow, if teaching girls about Hillary Clinton and giving them the opportunity to ask questions about reproduction and sexuality they may not feel comfortable asking family members is a “radical feminist agenda” that makes me sad.  Can’t we come up with something more radically feminist than Hillary Clinton’s pant suits?

 

This isn’t the first time that the organization that promises to build “courage, confidence, and character” in young women has been assaulted by the right for educating girls on sexual health, supporting non-traditional families and giving girls access to  “radical” and “extreme” female role models… like Hilary Clinton and Mother Theresa.  The GSUSA’s response to the issue was typically calm and level headed:

As a leadership organization, we must always respect the right of others to express their views and we will continue to support girls who care deeply about an issue and have the courage to stand up and take action, GSUSA spokeswoman Michelle Tompkins told The Daily Beast, “even if we do not agree with what they say.

Damn.  Kind of makes me wish I was a Girl Scout.

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