1. Tenshon (Tension)
The Japanese Horror Film
Takashi (Will Ferrell) keeps hearing strange noises in the night. Lots of really scary stuff happens, including a scene with an adorable but possessed Pomeranian that leaves moviegoers with crippling puppyphobia.
2. We All Die Someday
The Scandinavian Arthouse Flick
Jurgen (Will Ferrell) is getting older and his wife (a sans-makeup Uma Thurman) hates him. Sometimes she’s naked, but it’s only when she’s changing clothes and stuff and they don’t have much sex but when they do it’s awkward. He looks at the snow and contemplates life. He looks at pollution and contemplates death. He looks at polluted snow and decides to have an affair with his son’s young teacher (Dakota Fanning), who is far prettier and gets naked for him in an attractive way. But even this is depressing.
3. Un Operimissio
The Italian Opera
In this opera loosely based on Boccaccio’s The Decameron, Will Ferrell plays Dioneo, a singer waiting out the bubonic plague in the countryside with a wacky collection of friends (including Steve Carell as Brick Tamburlini). In a final, riveting scene, Will puts his falsetto to good use and shatters the glasses of everyone in the audience.
4. Hope Is the Thing With Feathers
The Bollywood Blockbuster
An epic, sweeping love story. Aman (Will Ferrell) loves his mother very, very much. When she comes down with a devestating illness, they travel India with his sister Rani searching for a cure. At a small town in the foothills of the Himalayas, Aman falls in love with Medina, a pious woman. Aman is torn between his love for Medina and his love for his family, until Medina develops a plan to make Rani and her rogueish brother Tashi (John C. Reilly) fall in love, too. Then gangsters attack the town, and Aman and Tashi ride motorcycles to defeat them. With guest appearances by twenty-six different Bollywood legends and featuring a song by Kanye West.
5. South Bound
The Antarctic Documentary
Producer Adam McKay pulls Will Ferrell (Will Ferrell) out of his bed in the middle of the night. He’s then flown to Antarctica and given a sled, sixteen pounds of food, and a penguin trap. If he finds the South Pole before he succumbs to hypothermia, he will be allowed to continue making movies. His only companion is a cameraman who’s been instructed to shoot him if he doesn’t say one quoteable line every five minutes. Narrated by Morgan Freeman in French.
Photoshoppin’ by Emily McGregor
