One lasting stereotype about lesbians is Pussy Love. Er. Furry Love. Errr. Cat Love.
But why? Why are lesbians always associated with cats? And why does the stereotype that lesbians love cats, for the most part, ring true?
After some thought, this lesbian found various links between Lady Love and Feline Love, so enjoy this dip into sexual curiosity:
Petting one’s furry friend is a very delicate matter that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Furry like cat. Also, like ladybits.
And any athlete and sexytime-dynamo knows that practice makes perfect. Pet your (actual) kitty the wrong way and you’ll get clawed. Same goes for your partner’s (figurative) cat. Except instead of getting clawed you’ll probably just get your heart broken and be forced to have an L Word marathon with just your (actual) cat. Or, you know, your own (figurative) cat.
So having a furry friend’s a great way to teach yourself to look out for positive signs: when petting, listen for purring, pay attention to kitty’s movements.
And stay hydrated; hand cramps are the worst.
Emotional Uncertainty/Passive Aggression
You know that feeling you get when your cat catches you doing something weird and gives you that all-knowing, “for shame” look? And how one second Ms. Snuggles is all up on your tummy, purring and having a great time, and the next she’s acting like she regrets ever playing the cute card at the pound just for you? Angela.
This emotional uncertainty from your pet is good preparation for most lesbian relationships (i.e. Lindsay and Sam Ronson). But master the art of living devoid of Cat Judgment, be more patient with your kitty’s nonstop climate changes, and you might just find yourself following in Ellen and Portia’s wedding march instead.
That time you tried to get back at her for passive-aggressively scribbling angrily into her diary by pretending to do the same in your Idea Book? Er. That time you hid her cat-nip?
…Either way: Fail.
Pussies can love toys, but they can also sometimes enjoy just an au-naturale pat session. There’s a whole world of kitty-toys out there, and it’s important to find the right one. No two kitties are alike. Make kitty feel special.
Seriously, though. Can anyone tell what gender a cat is just by looking at it? And just like cats, the lesbian community is chock full of gender-f*cking and double-takes. We’re all about equality, on all fronts.
Kitties come in all manner of fur. Some keep their fur short, others long and feral. Point being: all cats are beautiful. And, being that a great many lesbians are feminists, lesbians really appreciate that.
And there you have it, friends! Mystery: Solved!
Do you think we missed any definite links between kitties and lesbianism? If so, let us know in the comments below!